Oh, Really!

I had a telephone call from a friend this past weekend; he posed a question. "Mel, don't you think that your recent blogs have been somewhat harsh on our fellow countrymen?" He was referring to my comments regarding the national poll, which suggested 59% of Americans were opposed to any military action against Syria after that country's chemical weapons attack on innocent civilians both adults and children. If you recall, I said that we should not take such polls seriously when considering that one-third of America's 317 million people either cannot 'read' or read at or below a fifth grade level. I'll double-down and add this: Most Americans regardless of 'reading-level-ability' are more interested in self-absorbed issues rather than the broader issues.

I did not spend much time defending my comments, I seldom do. I did thank the caller for reading my blog and taking the time to telephone with his thoughts and opinions. We talked about many other things before saying our goodbyes. I did give consideration in the ensuing days regarding the Syrian situation and Americas 'poll-opinions' but then just yesterday this bit of info came down the communication line: The three days following Miley Cyrus' burlesque-tease dance on the MTV awards show, the Internet logged the following: For every ONE Internet 'search' about America's position on Syria's use of chemical gas, which killed 1400 people, there was TWELVE Internet 'searches on Miley Cyrus' 'dance.' Hey, as the urban slang states, 'It is what it is.' We are a self-centered, self-serving lot.

 Most Americans basically don't give a rat's ass about any thing that does not affect their weekend fun-plans, i.e., party, tailgating or American Idol. I pass a neighbor's yard every day at 6:45 A.M. while on my 40-minute daily walk. The neighbor has a yard sign that reads: 'Pray for Our Nation.' I would second THAT request...however, when America's yard signs read: 'Pray for ALL Nations' ...we will finally have our heads out of our narcissistic asses.

I expect my good friend to call me back any day now with an apology; I've been hanging near the telephone in anticipation.

So You Wanna Be Happy?

I suppose the driving force of the human-experience is to 'feel' significant, i.e., that which I 'do' truly matters, eh? This is why, I have always told my older grandchildren to pursue that occupation, which you truly wish to do and attempt to 'serve' others in some manner.

An early 'lesson' imparted to me as a young boy was my father telling me frequently, when giving me a chore, "Hey boy, any job worth doing is worth doing well." I believe the secret to work-place joy and happiness is 'finding that job' for which you have great passion  because you will undoubtedly 'do-it-well.' Then there was another voice that gave me a parting 'tip' from Illinois State University as I prepared to graduate. Howard "Moose" Hancock, the athletic director, pulled me aside and said, "Roustee (note; that is not a misspelling, he called me Roustee), when you take a teaching/coaching position some administrator will likely give you a written job description; tear the damn thing up and re-write the description with actions creating 'bigger' shoes to fill for your successor." Great advise. The benefactors of such a teaching philosophy are the youngsters.

At some point in most every one's journey, you have the opportunity to 'lead.' The most successful leaders that I have known have the unique ability to instill 'ownership-cause' in co-workers & followers. It is proven true that we all find a more 'willing' spirit when we feel tied to the outcome?

Life is a brief proposition. One has but a fraction of real time to 'do' whatever it is he/she is supposed to do. When I survey my professional and personal life, I notice a common denominator; love for those who need whatever it might be that I could possibly 'give.'

I must now push myself away from this typing machine and take toy poodle, Yodie for a walk. The pup has terrific leadership traits. He has convinced me that walking and picking up his 'poop' is important and getting him treats is fun; smart little fella. I just wonder: If aliens from another planet are spying on us and note me walking Yodie and picking up his 'poop' in my little plastic bag...how the hell are those 'outer-space cats' processing this activity?

Don't Flush, Yet !

A recent email that I received offered the opinions of an 1887 Scottish history professor who advanced the theory that a democracy is always temporary because voters discover within 200 years that they can vote for candidates who promise to support 'giveaway programs.' Eventually, this will bankrupt the treasury and a dictatorship will follow.  (I can't fool you readers; you likely already know the origin of the email).

The email then took, as I expected, liberties. I quote from the email: "From bondage to spiritual faith...from spiritual Faith to courage...from courage to liberty...from liberty to abundance...from abundance to complacency...from complacency to apathy...from apathy to dependence...from dependence to bondage." The email used another University Professor's 'numbers to underscore that welfare people and murderers voted for Obama while decent tax-paying citizens voted for Romney. Finally, did you know that should Congress grant amnesty and citizenship to twenty million illegals--and those folks 'vote' --we can bend-over and kiss our country's ass goodbye; so said my email!!! My history recollections is of a nation that was not a true democracy when women and Black people could not vote;  those days when the majority of 'white' male voters believed that women should be pregnant (in the kitchen) and Blacks should be bent over in 'cotton-fields.' What a democracy, then!! My good Americans, 'democracy' means equality, freedoms and popular suffrage.

The email implies that the current political events in America are causing a democracy-free fall. The subliminal message is that our country is 'falling-from-greater times.' If we return to the good old days, what time-period shall we re-visit? The early frontier days offered good land acquisition opportunities...recall when we screwed the Native America 'taking' their land. We felt that they were savages and we were God's chosen white-guys. Perhaps we could return to that wonderful plantation era when we had good cheap labor. That Lincoln guy had to interfere. Today's brown-face 'field-hands' keep sneaking in from Mexico; next thing you know, they will get citizenship, the vote and this democracy will fall another couple-of-rungs according to the email 'message.'

Shall we go back to a time in history when taxes were low and workers had no unions; if we still had those circumstances, our great American-loving corporations would not have to outsource jobs to realize a profit. Never mind that the tax monies collected built Inter-state highways, research medical centers and stadiums where we can have our Sunday NFL beer-guzzling tailgate parties, which is almost as much fun as putting sheets over our heads and burning peoples' houses.

The email said that if I favor 'this,' I am to pass the email along to others. My dilemma is I am not sure if it meant favoring amnesty for illegals or democracy falling into a dictatorship. I just love those freaking emails that give parameters to my convictions, feelings and love?

Folks, don't panic and flush this great Nation down the toilet just yet. Things will get better. Do you not understand...the sky is always falling and the world is coming to an end any time America has a Democrat in the oval office.

 Ah crap, the moment has arrived, I must choose between 'send' or 'delete.'

Don't Take It Personal !

Many would suggest that one's relationship with 'God' is personal, although I would contend it is no longer private. Religion seemed to 'go' public on the heels of a very rancorous late 1960's. Several notable evangelists and preachers began to weigh-in with religious agendas for the government to consider. I do believe that Godly folks should place their opinions in the public forum. My greatest  reservation is that political parties and political candidates are opportunist when they can define a large block of voters who could 'get them elected.'

Just this week, I read about am Amish family that had a judge side with the parents, who for religious reasons, were withholding chemotherapy treatment from their 10-year old child. Another parenting couple is suing the government to have the phrase, 'under God' removed from the Pledge of Allegiance.

Come now, you all have heard the flag/Bible waving rhetoric from the Fox News boys about fighting our 'liberal news media' and big government, which they insist is anti-religion and boarder line heathens. While many pontificating Christians point fingers at the ACLU for protecting Satanic ways and agendas, these folks would not have a clue on processing Biblical scriptures against secular realities. For example, if you please: Issue #1:  Budget cuts for the poor vs. tax cuts for the wealthy..."For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also." (Matthew 6:21) and "For everyone who has been given much, much will be required." (Luke 12:48), finally," "Go and sell all your possessions and give to the poor." (Mark 10:21-25) Note: Don't everyone rush to the banks on the same day.

Issue #2 Prayer in Public Schools: The U .S. Constitution states that the government will not establish a particular religion, so what religion's prayer shall we endorse for our schools. Oh, you say we are a nation founded upon Judea-Christian principles; okay shall It be a Jewish recitation a "Hail Mary" or something from the Pentecostal doctrine? Keep in mind that we were also established as a nation inviting 'freedom' to worship or not worship! "When you pray, you are not to be like the hypocrites; they love to stand on street corners and be seen by men...go to your inner room, close the door ...your Father who sees what you have done in secret will reward you." (Matthew 6:5-6)

Issue #3: Kill minimum wage, bust the union workers and recall those health care programs: who turn.    "I will draw near to you judgment and I will be a swift witness against those who oppress the wage earner in his wages, the widow and the orphan and those  aside the alien and do not fear Me." (Malachi 3:5).

My good readers & friends, I leave you with two (2) considerations. (1) It ain't ever easy being a 'real' Christian and (2) Be wary of the political party, which suggests that God is on their side; be sure that your actions reflect that which Jesus taught, however if you're not a Christian let your actions reflect something else; this is the land of the free.

Surely You Understand

Most have perhaps heard maybe even  'said' the following: 'How could he/she do such a thing?' 'What was he/she thinking?' 'That was certainly wrong!' 'Don't they see the unfairness?' ...I am sure I leave one or two of your favorites out but you readers get the idea. From time to time, we are dumbfounded by the actions or behavior of others. There is an opening song line that goes like this..."How many times have you heard someone say, if I had his money, I'd do things my way." Well, doing things one's own way is one's own prerogative as it should be. All of us will do some things 'our way,' which cause others to be perplexed.

We should be thankful that there is a brain-component, which allows us to 'rationalize.' If we did not have argument-reasoning ability, we would have lots of folks jumping off tall buildings. Everybody engages in behavior that satisfies need, greed and pleasure. Some needs are basic, some pleasures are self-serving while some pleasure comes from serving. All greed is self-centered. I know the aforementioned to be true because my personal scoreboard reflects all. However, the beauty of 'rationalization' allows me to 'defend' most actions and behavior thus keeping me away from the top of those tall buildings. Simply stated: I'm OKAY; I had good reasons for my actions.

As most things in life, more is NOT better; too much of something can be dangerous. I offer the following examples: terrorists, mass murderers and politicians... these are perhaps some who take 'rationalization' over-the-top.

I remind my children, from time-to-time, that their abilities to rationalize can assist them in forgiving their father's behavior if they dig deep enough!

Surround Yourself With Good People

He was my assistant basketball coach at Edwardsville and Jacksonville totaling twenty-five seasons. He and his wife were loyal to the basketball program, Coach Roustio and the Roustio family. He taught driver's education and taught all three of our children behind-the-wheel. He is Ken Hickman and he and his wife, Sharon are moving back home to Indiana after being Illinois residence for forty-something years. The Hickman's have two adult sons, Jason and Kyle, aka, 'Carl' who are both married with children. The move put Ken & Sharon Hickman closer to their sons, grandchildren and other family folks. Good for them and God Bless.

My wife and I helped them move a few items this past Monday and of course, we staked out the travel route for future reference. I suppose that I have had two dozen or more assistant coaches during my coaching career...none worked any harder for the 'cause' and made me laugh more than Coach Hickman.

Check it out: During a varsity basketball contest (1979), I heard someone yelling at me from behind the bench, "Get him out of there," was the repeated-screaming comment directed at me and the player they wanted off the floor was my son. I said to Hickman, after a time out, "Who the hell is yelling to take him out?" Hickman answered, "It's your wife." I smiled and told Hickman to go into the bleachers and tell my wife to shut up." He sat down next to me and said, "As soon as pigs fly, I'll get right on that, Coach!"

While coaching at Edwardsville 1975, Hickman noticed our players' individual gym bags were unusually 'stuffed.' He followed some players after a game and discovered a sleep-over-drinking party...the players from then on called Hickman, "Barney Fife."  Also during those Edwardsville years, I had an administration that could be a tad bit pissy. For example, one season the coaches did NOT have keys to the gym but had to check out a master key the day of a contest. Well, I forgot one night and upon returning from out of town, I discovered I did not have the key. A sophomore kid said, "I'll get us into the gym, Coach." He took a coat hanger out of a nearby trash can and manipulated the panic bar trough  the door-crack and 'bingo!' The dry comment coming from Hickman was, "Hey, Coach don't you have two-Master's degrees? Well buddy-boy, learn from the street kid!"

One player we coached was suspected of smoking pot but never caught. One night in practice the player uncharacteristically picked up a 'charging foul' and immediately jumped to his feet screaming in celebration. Hickman said, "Don't give me that. Your blurry eyes saw two (2) figures coming towards you and you guessed wrong trying to get out of the way!!"

One winter, Hickman was proud of a new snow-blower he purchased. After cleaning off his walks, drive ways and those of his neighbors he had his wife hold a ladder while he lugged the snow-blower atop his roof to clean off the roof; a first I am sure!

The last year he coached for me he said, "Mel, it's time to quit this gig; I have been asking the same question of players while taping ankles for twenty-five years."> question..."If you had a choice between the team winning 20 games or you averaging 20-points this season, which would you choose?" He continued saying to me, "Today's players are beginning to hesitate with their answer."
Point well-taken.

Thanks for the loyalty, friendship and laughter.  Good luck and stay off the roof even though you are back in the State of 'Hoosiers.'

Some Stories Bear Repeating

I shall share two quick stories with you who are kind enough to take time to read these daily words. One story explains part of the past the other story offers hope for the future.

 We recently had house guests. Our son, Steve and his wife, Kathy and three of their five children came for an overnight visit and joining us for the weekend was Steve's former high school friend/basketball teammate and his girlfriend. It was most enjoyable to reminisce with two of my former players (1980) and listen to familiar stories re-told and new tales unfolding.

Steve's teammate still lives in Jacksonville where I completed a twenty-one year coaching tenure. The local hometown player told of some former players he sees who may speak poorly of their old coach. Of course, this is not 'new' to my ears; perceptions become realities and most assuredly those former players who received limited playing time remember a different perception and thus hold a negative feeling about the coach while those who played a lot have fonder recall-reality of a better mentor. Simple logic rules.

 Speaking of perceptions, I recall in my early years at Jacksonville, a community of thirty thousand people and less than 10% 'Black,' a African-American adult whom I came to know very well ask me a serious question. He apologized in advance of his inquiry when he said, "Coach, do 'white' people in Jacksonville offer coaches money to play their kids?" I responded saying, "Frank, I cannot speak to the history of this community or school district and other coaches but I can tell you that I have never been offered money or favors for special player-playing-time consideration and furthermore, I would only play kids who acknowledge me as boss, sacrifice self  and who can help us win!" The sad reality of Frank's question is simple: Frank, as many little 'black boys,' grew up in Jacksonville embracing that myth perpetuated in the small 'Black-neighborhood' of Jacksonville.

Another question tossed my way was offered as follows: "Why did some folks say that (coach) you were aloof, distant or appeared pompous?" I explained, "Those perception resulted from an intentional design to insulate myself. Through time and experience in the high school coaching arena, I came to notice that I was indeed every citizens 'coach and should I be perceived as too cozy with one socio-economic group than another, I would offend."  "Let me elaborate. Every community has a broad spectrum of social and economic engagements. Should I be with country club folks after ball games I would piss-off those who did not 'run' in that crowd; should I belly up at the local watering hole after the game, I offended the teetotalers. My best bet was to circle the wagons with my coaching staff that's exactly what I did...look, to many I was nothing more than a trinket...The Coach."

Second story: One of my grandsons seems put off by a fall coach who is reluctant giving out 'atta-boy' praises. I cornered this grandson and his brother before they departed my home and asked if they knew the difference between 'intrinsic and extrinsic.' I got the answer I expected; "NO." Therefore, I explained and underscored that extrinsic is fleeting and fickle. If we buy into the extrinsic we run a risk of allowing 'others' to define our value. I then made my case for intrinsic self-motivation and gratification, which places us in control of our self-worth and subsequent self-esteem. I am sure I will repeat that sermon again because it is the most important story of the two you just read.