You Gotta Find a Way

Recently, I had a telephone call from a young high school basketball coach. He expressed frustration with people in his 'basketball-family;' players and parents. His source of irritation appears to be trenched in the lack of commitment from both parties. He detailed his exasperation pointing to his players' lack of accountability and parents who seemingly enable their child to shun responsibility. Finally, the young mentor said it is becoming increasingly more difficult to verbally motivate. I understand the coach's annoyances and disappointment. I found it compelling how he could outline the negatives of his players and parents so reticently and I have little reason to doubt his assessments.


I attempted to explain that over a thirty-nine year coaching career, I also noticed a gradual but definite attitude change in high school players and their parents. I was more specific when I said, "Let me give an example: In the mid-sixties, I could grab a player by the arm and escort him to the baseline and with a scolding/harsh voice- tone tell him to get his butt in position and cut off this baseline and if necessary, pick up a charging foul."  The players of that decade questioned nothing. However, twenty years later, 1985, I found myself placing 'charge-stickers' on players locker much like the kindergarten teacher places that smiley-face-sticker on a child's school work. I recall making a supper-table comment to my wife during my second-to-last season coaching: One evening after a basketball practice,  I  said, "I don't recognize these players anymore," meaning players have changed over the years. The next season, I told my wife, "I need to walk away from this coaching, I don't recognize myself any longer," meaning, I have changed as much as I can without compromising incontestable principles.


I did suggest to my telephone-calling-protege' that he should not focus only on the negatives he perceives in others but he must self-examine his communication methods. Bottom line is this: The coach must communicate the message...even if it is necessary to sugar coat more or re-examine that which is negotiable-collateral. Everybody wants something! What do you control that others may desire?

Spinning Wheel; Spinning Around...

Last month, nine hundred ninety-eight folks read my blog; slightly over 15,000 people have read it since posting these blogs. I likely don't know most of these readers. One reader, I do know, recently made the following comment: 'Mel, I understand why you are often sympathetic for educators (an obvious nod to my life-long educator's career) but why are you so adamant in defending  Black people?" He concluded saying, "You DO know that Black people are just as prejudice as White people?" Holy crap, I had no idea that Blacks were capable of prejudice!!


Okay, he deserves my answer so here it is; others are welcome to read-along.  Hell yes, I know that many Blacks are equally prejudice as are many Whites. In fact, I am a student of Gordon W. Allport's writings, which explains in documented details how every corner of the earth has prejudicial expressions spewing from every kind of person. Prejudices towards people of color, ethnic origins, religious doctrines, political persuasions,...and the list goes on and on. These beliefs are anchored in deep-seeded-learned negative attitudes. It comes NOT from family DNA but from family table-talk and expressions.


Hang in there readers, I am about to conclude this lesson. The reason Blacks perhaps need more compassion on this issue is found in arithmetic...majority rules and minority often must yield to the authoritative majority. Wrap your brain around these dots: "Power corrupts absolute power corrupts absolutely."...Lord Acton   "It is not power that corrupts but the fear of losing power corrupts those who wield it."...Aung San Suu


Perhaps my great-great-grandchild (yet to be born) will one day live in a society, which finds Blacks in the majority, holding-the-power and that descendant of mine will be writing a defensive blog in behalf of  the minority White folks who are being crapped on by those prejudice---Black people.


In the meantime: John 13: 34-35 will help us all, today...and the next day...and...

Love THAT Money; Love MY Gun

It's that time again, politicians are gearing up for the campaign-runs with a plethora of yard signs, radio ads and television pleas. Someone once said, 'After being elected to office, a politician will attend a legislative session, vote himself a pay raise and then begin holding re-election fund-raisers.' Bring on those ads!


I 'hear' a common refrain by GOP folks running for office:...'I will work to repeal and replace Obamacare.'  However, I have never heard a GOP consensus-plan offered as a replacement plan. This brings me to my next thought. Perhaps I am missing something but the GOP Conservative position most often agreed upon by the 'NO' party is predicated on a simple theory: Don't spend money! Therefore, do not give wage increases, do not fund public schools nor offer any government assistance programs, except for those 'farm subsidies.


Wisconsin (GOP) Governor, Scott Walker was successful dismantling that State's labor unions. Of course, studies suggest that the minimum wage is problematic for lower-middle class families. Historically, this nation's poor have watched sick family members unable to access life-saving health care and die, which raises the moral question. Enter Obamacare...it is that law, which the GOP candidates insist on repealing and replacing???


Just last week the Kansas supreme court ruled that State's educational funding practices is 'unconstitutional.' This ruling has the Kansas GOP Governor and his colleagues upset. Exactly! Many from the Republican political party wish to see our public schools become the underfunded learning centers for 'brown-face' people while lobbying for tax break-vouchers to send 'white' kids to private schools.
Let me get my head around this...cut welfare programs, cut school funding, reduce effectiveness of unions and repeal health benefits for the poor but DON'T cut our military budget. Oh, don't forget G. W. Bush's desire to do away with Social Security and have folks financially secure their retirement years with 401K's. Oh boy, that has proven sound!!!


I will say this...the Republican love affair with the NRA and the subsequent 'conceal and carry laws' being passed has me personally behaving better.  I elaborate:> Recently, I spent some time in Florida where I kept all my 'liberal' opinions to myself and out of any public-square-debate scenarios. I suspect everyone in Florida is carrying a gun and they can't wait to shoot your ass and then claim 'Stand Your Ground' as a defense.


Whoops, as I was preparing to post this blog, I heard a television commercial from that Bruce Rauner who is running for the GOP spot in the Illinois governor's race. Rauner said, if elected, he wants to put parents in charge of our (schools) education system...surely this silly, shallow pandering politician shits us!! His notion suggests that the biological drive to engage in coitus and propagate qualifies the participants to make educational decisions. Actually, the thought THAT occurs to me is birth control methods should be incorporated in the school curriculum!!!

Find Me a Good Boss

Gloria J. Davis will retire next week from her Superintendent's post at Decatur Public Schools, a position she has held since 2006.
I enjoyed my experience working for the Decatur Schools as a sport education consultant under Ms. Davis' leadership. I liked the fact that she gave a charge, and supported without micro-management; I welcomed her 'hold-your-feet-to-the-fire' leadership style. That said, many folks did not like Davis' shake-up approach. My thoughts on that in a moment but first this: Superintendent Davis made some significant educational program changes to the Decatur Public Schools' landscape during her tenure and brought about a much needed  'school-uniform' policy and was most instrumental in successfully 'passing' a county sales tax, which benefits many county schools and specifically brings about two re-constructed Decatur high schools. (Eisenhower & MacArthur).


Now, if I may, my perception of some folk's irritation with Superintendent Davis. Status quo stokes comfort and comfort, although a stagnation risk is most peoples' zone of choice.  I hope Ms. Davis did not take personally much of the negative rebellious clatter because it is the nature of our work force creatures.


Answer this question and one may gain insight into that which drives today's 'Don't Hold Me Accountable Attitude! If you blow smoke in a child's butt all his adolescent years, spend endless hours heaping on bogus praise encouraging 'feelings' over responsibility and slap a smiley-face super-star sticker on every freaking thing the little turd-blossom touches...then why the hell would you think he's going to grown up ready to take kindly to workplace accountability or criticism???


There are two kinds of leaders. Incidental leaders and intentional leaders. The incidental leader can and often times emerges in a crisis situation and with a spontaneous 'take charge' approach assumes that leadership role...he is often 'the hero.' The case of the intentional leader is more defined in clinical terms. A 'guidance' role (leaderships position) has been defined and a person is appointed to fulfill expectations. Everybody else then stands in the wings and second guesses the leader or bitches should the leader point out where others could DO BETTER. Come now people; America's 21st Century thinking is simple: a good boss is a boss with low expectations, which enables employees to achieve 'success' easier...and make sure we have 'casual-dress' Fridays my 'Dear Watson!'


Good luck and God speed Ms. Davis.

Some Take Them Serious

Yesterday afternoon, I was checking out a television weather report for this coming weekend when a commercial interrupted. Suddenly, I am taken back by three 'white' guys who are dressed in work-style clothing and wearing John Deere ball caps...I got it...these guys (in the commercial) are supposed to be 'farmers!' The product they were 'pitching' was either a 'seed' or herbicide; not sure. I am sure that all three farm-gents 'fist-bumped' each other on three occasions during the commercial as to underscore their collective endorsement of the product. These were three All-American 'looking' 'white guys. I emphasize the "WHITE" because Fox News is always good at subliminally 'suggesting' the 'BLACK,' as in the White House GUY.


Let me jog your recollection. Do you remember when President Obama and wife, Michelle did a public 'fist-bump' at a 2008, campaign rally-night? Sure you do because Fox News used the incident as a lead for a news story for a few ensuing days: The fair and balanced reporters-pundits kept asking the question: "Is the Obamas' fist bump harmless or is it a secret terrorist-jab?" I watched Fox News off and on last night and damned if there was any mention about these freaking-farmer-boy-terrorists!


I know some-of-you-all don't cotton much to this kind of shit pointed out but I do enjoy the moment! ...And while I am at it, watch for the boys like Senators John McCain and Lindsey Graham pointing out the wrong steps by President Obama during this Russia-Ukraine crisis. Of course, I don't often refer to those two as Senator (s); I like to think of them as the 'Weapons-of-Mass-Destruction-Seekers.'


Springs just around the corner. I'll have the backyard swing up in a couple of weeks; stop by for a 'swing-chat.'

It's was a Survival Technique

In the midst of a thirty-seven year varsity basketball coaching career, an assistant coach once said to me, "Coach, a lot of people think you are aloof and pompous." I responded, " If those folks said that to my face, I would simply ask, what's your point?" That comment perhaps seals the belief but please pause to look beneath the surface.  I never recall turning a parent or reporter away from making an inquiry that I always offered to answer. That said, I was guarded knowing most often with parents the answer given will not satisfy. The reporter asking the questions 'already' has a 'story-slant.'  I was cognizant of the story's direction and did my best, with comments/quotes, to sway the article towards a more positive slant.


I did my best to keep family and school personnel in my immediate  tight circle of friendships. I was aware that I was coach to everyone in a given community. Since I could not interact with everyone socially, I did not wish to alienate one soci-economic segment by appearing to attach to another segment. That posturing will come off as aloof and perhaps pompous...what's the alternative choice in a predominately self-centered and often mean-spirited society?


Near the end of my coaching career (Jacksonville, Illinois), I had retired from the daily grind of 'teaching' but remained as 'coach.' With  morning hours' spare time, I accepted an offer to have a morning DJ radio show on WLDS. My format was '50's & '60's music along with a daily shtick allowing listeners to call in with opinions. I often engaged in 'lighthearted' bantering with callers.The owner of the radio station told me that people listening could not believe that 'this' radio personality was the same Roustio the basketball coach; 'They are seeing a different side of you, " he said. I was in a studio behind controls that I held. Topics, comments and personal expressions came from the 'real' Mel Roustio...always the incurable 1950's romantic; a side well guarded and hidden.  An intentional survival-mode departmentalization.


This past weekend was a GOOD ONE. I got lucky each day. I went to Walmart on Saturday and Target on Sunday; both days when leaving the stores, I found my car immediately!

The 'NO' That Needs No Explanation

I am sure that many blog readers find me a tad bit critical of the Baby Boomer generation's parenting. I shall not deny that position. It would appear many Boomer parents are incapable of saying 'No' to their children and the result is devastating. Hear my reasoning-concern.


One mid-nineties spring, I was a presenting-speaker at the annual Midwest basketball coaches clinic held at a St. Louis Hotel. Between sessions, on this Saturday afternoon, I noticed many high school age youngsters 'checking-in' to the hotel. The high school kids were with dates prepared to spend the night at the hotel after their school's prom dance. Parent's had signed permission slips assuming responsibilities for any problems or hotel damages. As one young man explained to me, "Our parents know we are going to drink and party on Prom night and they don't want us out driving autos." Therefore, mom and pop gave the okay to 'drink and shack-up' at the hotel. Later, I asked my wife if our parents would have 'signed-off'' on such a night back in 1957?...she laughed but never bothered to answer.


Most of today's high school students will leave home and attend college and many parents will assume thousands of dollars debt over many years. I was fortunate to receive athletic financial assistance and thus my parents did not take-on debt for my education. None-the-less, my Father expected me to work every summer between college years.


In the next four weeks, one and a half million college and some high school age students will rush to Florida beaches and other warm weather areas to embrace what has become a mythical rite of passage...'spring break.' This generation of self-absorbed, self-centered children are, in most circumstances, being raised by pathetically enabling parents who will foot a 'spring break'  (collective) expenditure of over one billion dollars.
 The average male (breaker) will consume 18-drinks each day while females hammer-down 10 alcoholic drinks daily; fifty percent of these kids will stop drinking each day when they begin to puke or pass-out...that is a statistical fact. Many young spring-breakers will return to their home college campuses with souvenirs...various STD's. Most of these diseases will be treatable many will NOT be curable and some will cause lifetime emotional scares.


I never had a problem saying 'No' to my three kids; I admit that I used my Father's parenting philosophy...'I love you kids but I am not interested in winning your friendship.'


Matthew 5:37..."Let your yes be yes and your no be no...whatsoever is more than these is of the evil one."
A final thought: Every year, at least one young person falls to his death from a balcony during spring break. I will be praying for God's comforting grace upon the family who will receive that tragic news and I will wonder how painful the re-visit to that earlier conversation when "NO' was not invoked.