The Parenting Experience

I was sitting in a 1959, Illinois State University 'sociology class' called THE FAMILY when the professor began speaking about the pending death of our parents. One comment he made was on the heels of this question: "Which parent is the most difficult to lose to death?" After a few students made various cases, the professor said, "It's the last parent that dies because that death terminates the 'parent-child-relationship." And so it does!

My wife, Gerry and I began our own parenting journey on August 29, 1961. First born son, Steve was followed by first daughter, Dawn in 1965 and last daughter, Pamela in 1968. Our adult children are all married with families of their own. Certainly, my wife and I still do that parenting thing but perhaps more so, we engage with our kids through the grand-parenting and great grand-parenting roles.

I recall many PARENTING LESSONS, which may ring familiar to some readers and serve as a road map for other readers:

 1. The inventor of the pacifier should have his bust added to the iconic Mount Rushmore.
 2. Never lean over a naked infant boy while changing a diaper.
 3. When holding its breath during a temper-tantrum, a child in a high chair will cease that activity  forever after tossing a cup of water into his face. Go ahead a report me to DCF; it worked!
 4. Adult children don't particularly like unsolicited parenting advice. This is a disposition which I have frequently ignored. My reasoning is simple: Once you invite me into a 'conversation,' I view my status as a Charter Member.
 5. If you struggle with 'poop' diapers at or near meal times, you will lose weight.
 6. Speaking of diapers, when no longer used on a child don't throw away. They make great dust rags.
 7. It takes awhile for a teenager to not be hurt by the answer to the question: "Don't you trust me?"
 8. An adolescent can get the impression that parents love them more than each other. Don't allow it!
 9. Teens can develop the misconception that the room they sleep-in really belongs to them.
10. The 'used' Roadmaster bike a parent got for Christmas will be rejected by your adolescent.
11. Understanding the extent and complications of Christmas toys' assembly is paramount before purchase. Also, knowledge of batteries' size and number.
12. Your teenager is convinced you are  clueless in matters of biological drives and computers...They are correct on one matter.
13. Regarding communication with a child, a parent would be wise to embrace Matthew 5:37...
      "Let your YES be YES and you NO be NO."
14. The most exhilarating feeling a man will ever experience is that moment the Doctor delivering your child says, "Your baby and wife are doing just fine."
15. The best parenting gift to a child is a testimony of the need for a relationship with Jesus-Christ.
16. Finally, the thing I miss the most about parenting was when my child was no longer tucked into bed sleeping in the next room.
(Touch)
Parent 'Rap.'

Women Just Might Do It Better!

I must and will acknowledge my predisposition to embrace social-liberalism persuasions as I champion a diverse society and embrace causes of minorities, which includes racial, ethnic and women's respective fights for rights. That said, I'm never shy to call out my brothers and sisters from those groups when they 'reach for crutches' rather than engaging pro-actively. It's like the great song offered by Jerry Butler, " Only The Strong Survive," therefore 'cinch-it-up' is my mantra.

Today, I wish to reflect upon American women's history. We learned back in middle school about the Women's Suffrage Movement which finally gave ladies voting rights in 1920. Make no mistake that piece of legislation did not wave a magic wand making women close to men in equality! Far from it!
I remember several things women were NOT ALLOWED to do as recently as the 1950's:

 1. My mother and other women of that decade could not open a Bank Account without their husband's or an adult family member's signature. That changed with the Equal Credit Opportunity Act of 1974.

 2. My mother was not permitted to serve on a Jury until legalized in 1968.

 3. No woman could practice law even if they had met all education and testing qualifications until 1971.

 4. Birth control pills were available in the 1950's but women could not use them until legislation in 1960 and even then some States did not allow it.

 5. A pregnant woman up until 1978, could not legally take a paid maternity leave.

 6. Public Breast-feeding was a 'No-No' in the 1950's.

 7. Fellas, those smart female high school students that you often copied from could not attend Ivy League schools until 1969.

 8. Finally in 1976, women could be admitted to West Point Military Academy.

 9. Women were finally permitted to run in the Boston Marathon in 1972.

10. Women finally could be in military combat in 2013.

11. In 1978, women could become an Astronaut.

I have maintained for years that men (especially old white guys) have been 'in control' of America's direction long enough; things are screwed up enough, so much so, it's time! Time to hand over the controls to women.  Women just might do it better!
(Touch)
Only The Strong Survive

The Rated...Over & Under

I am sure you have noticed things on this trip, which are vastly overrated and conversely underrated.

We are all conditioned to develop higher opinions of someone or somethings than is deserved. Likewise, we've underestimated the value or importance of someone or something.

I offer the following unscientific and unsubstantiated lists of the overrated and underrated in my eyes:

The Overrated---
 1-What others 'think.'
 2-Grits
 3-Tattoos
 4-Franklin Graham
 5-Basketball's 3-point shot
 6-Expectations of others
 7-Adam Sandler
 8-Automatic dishwasher
 9-Talapia
10-Labels i.e. Liberals, Conservatives & Evangelicals
11-Super Bowl half-time shows
12-Dick Vital
13-Sushi
14-Political Pundits
15-Rap music
16-College
17-Tomorrow's Weather Forecast

The Underrated--
 1-Compliments & Encouragements
 2-Potential
 3-Baseball hitters who don't strike out.
 4-Hope
 5-Will Power
 6-Teachers
 7-Competent Leadership
 8-Billy Graham
 9-Flossing
10-Gulf Shrimp
11-Button-Down shirts
12-Toilet paper
13-Indoor Plumbing
14-Birthdays
15-Sunscreen
16-Love Songs of the 1950's
17-First Responders
18-Medicare
19-Friends
20-A Relationship with Christ

My Gratitude Expressed

I wish to extend my sincere gratitude and appreciation to each of you who took a moment yesterday to send 80th birthday wishes to yours truly. I have been blessed with a rich and long journey and undoubtedly, our pathways crossed at some point. We became acquaintances and then friends. I hope we are both beneficiaries from the experiences.

My God continue to bless you and yours in the coming years.
(Touch)
That's What Friends Are For

What Shall Your Hyphen Reveal?

A few weeks ago, our friend, Marie told my wife and I that she'd heard a good sermon about 'tombstones.' Seems the preacher noted that tombstones told very little of our life's story...date of birth and date of death, while the 'hyphen' between the two dates holds the bigger untold story.

My marker has one date determined: February 18, 1939-  and that's right, I celebrate birthday #80 tomorrow. Just as God determined the first date without my input, I shall remain content knowing He will also determine the second date. Meanwhile, I am left to ponder and address my 'hyphen.'

May I distinguish first the difference between two words: 'luck' and 'blessings.' 'Luck' is success or failure coming to one by chance rather than one's abilities or efforts. 'Blessings' are the words or act of someone and I offer, in this instance my Creator, our God for my many blessings. I was blessed to be born into a loving and nurturing environment where parents and the extended family offered the perfect blueprint advancing the balanced ideals of caring, self-reliance and service to others. I found sport competition as a meaningful outlet expression, which ultimately defined my journey's calling from that of a participant and schooled educator to the coaching-mentor and caring consultant. I was fortunate to do all those things throughout my life; endeavors for which I held a great passion. As I have documented in my recently released book, "Angels On My Journey," I truly believed that it was all a Master's Plan that guided my 80- years.

 I am most blessed to have had the love and support of a girl who became my wife these past 58-years after a seven year courtship. The added blessings of three children, their spouses, 15-grandkids and  some of their spouses plus three great grandkids. On a professional-personal note, I am grateful that at a young age I came to understand that when "taking' a job, my charge was to make that job description larger and more meaningful upon the completion of my tenure. As an educator-coach, I wished to make future student-athletes benefactors of my efforts.

Did I cause anger and perhaps hurt during my journey?  I'm sure I have but never with premeditated intentions. Have I been angered or hurt by others? Most certainly but on each occasion I found either personal or professional resolve in my determination and commitments.

I am aware of life's limited time and I accept my remaining days as I have all previous days...with a willingness to serve with complete faith in my Lord. I cannot imagine another man more blessed, fortunate or if you wish, luckier than I. The story defined in my hyphen causes me great humbleness, thankfulness and a desire to push ahead.

Regrets? Some.
Pleased? Somewhat.
Own the hyphen? Absolutely!

That said, The One who enters the two dates will judge all hyphens.
(Touch)
Pass Me Not

Emergency or Not?

The very definition of 'emergency' leaves little doubt to the question regrading prompt action.
EMERGENCY: " a serious, unexpected, and often dangerous situation requiring immediate action."
Folks, the operative word in that definition is immediate.

President Trump did not get his coveted border wall money from Congress, therefore he declared a National Emergency, which if it survives all the lawsuits and forthcoming court fights would permit
him to rob Peter to pay Paul.

I believe it noteworthy to point out that conservative talk show host Ann Coulter said, "Only National Emergency is our President is an idiot."

I would not say he is an idiot, nor would I call him a moron as did his Secretary of State, Rex Tillerson and I would stop short calling Trump an "Unhinged idiot," as did former White House Chief of Staff, John Kelly. Instead, I would question the intellect of those who continue to support a man who lies so openly as to have people believe that his National Emergency declaration was indeed an emergency. Trump said, "I didn't need to do this (emergency) but I'd rather do it much faster."

Go ahead Trump supporters and spin as you wish....but remember he's all about himself and he's a below average communicator unless he's ranting and promoting hate and bigotry rhetoric then he's in the same league with Hitler, Khomeini and Khrushchev.

At Least That's What I Rekalek

Every St. Patrick's Day, my wife and I hook up with friends of fifty-six years, in Assumption, Illinois. On that St. Pat's Day, we enjoy a great corn-beef & cabbage dinner and sit around reminiscing of those gone by years. As years pass, I note such get-togethers become an exercise in helping one another recall names, places and events. It is obvious our common denominator, which strengthens over time is memory depletion.

Grandpa E. V. and Mammy Bennett would often say, "As I rekalek." That's how Kentuckians say 'recollect.' Well, it seems as we get along in years, we don't 'rekalek' so good. With that in mind, I developed some written personal family recollections in a book for my children a few years back. I told the kids I wanted them to understand family events past, which might explain why their parents were a tad bit screwed-up and why they may not be 'fer' behind. 'Fer' is not a misspelling. It's another Kentuckism. Things are not far down the road but a 'fer piece' down the way. I also told my children that if they repeated these recollection stories they were not 'rekaleckin' but instead they were engaging in hearsay or as E. V. and Mammy would say, "I hear tell."

When my wife calls my name with a certain tone, 'I'm supposin' she ain't pleased and's fixin' to get in a dither 'bout somethin.'