My long time (former) assistant coach, Ken Hickman and his wife Sharon spent Tuesday evening with the Roustios; always a fun visit The Hickman's recently moved to a small community back in Ken's home state of Indiana. My wife and I are delighted to learn of their assimilation into their new surroundings and how quickly they have become involved in community and church. I was especially impressed with a program that they embrace called 'Back-Pack Meals.' It works like this: Two area churches identify seventy-five poverty-stricken families, which have children in kindergarten through third grade. The two churches have volunteers who pack and distribute food placed in back packs for those children to 'take home' on Fridays. God bless those folks in that Christ-like mission.
I would suspect there are a few people in that small community who don't cotton much to that idea because of one reason or another; I know that there is a significant minority population in the town and some people cling to myths and misconceptions. I always find it troubling when people could suggest turning their backs on hungry children because of ethnic origin or negative notions about the parents.
.
Jesus Christ was big on 'feeding' the hungry. Christ said that a fella having two tunics (blouse or jacket), should find another person with none and give him one of his; He then added do the same with your FOOD. Jesus also told some wealthy dude that if he wanted to be perfect and get to heaven, the rich guy should sell all his possessions and give to the poor; this Jesus person appears to be bigger on that re-distribution of wealth (attitude) than that 'socialists' guy in the oval office.
Yesterday, I sat in a Doctor's office waiting for my wife. The waiting room television was broadcasting those senate hearings on the (website) sign-up problems with the new health care insurance law. I listened carefully to the line of questioning being tossed at that gal, Kathleen Sebelius, Health & Human Services Secretary. As I listen, I hear a common thread and subliminal message from the senators suggesting the President Obama appointee, Sebelius should resign or perhaps be fired for doing a 'poor' job. Now please, if you failed to connect the previous dots regarding one political party feeling that they are the 'Jesus people' for goodness sake, don't miss the connection here; these politicians holding these Obamacare hearings are that same useless asinine fools who DID NOT do THEIR jobs, which caused our government to shut down for more than two weeks. Talk about unmitigated gall!! Talk about brass balls!
Oh well, this soon will all pass and we can concentrate for a month and a half on those evil liberals who refuse to say "Merry Christmas" and instead say, 'Happy Holidays.' It's that on going attempt to 'take Christ' out of Christmas; never mind that HE has been taken out of caring for each other.
Thursday, October 31, 2013
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Be Serious!
Please, someone pinch me and wake me from this stupid dream; we are NOT really having this gobbledygook debate about our American government 'spying' on other (foreign) governments??? I swear, the anti-Obama folks have thrown everything but the proverbial Iraqi-shoe at President Obama. Have we lost all concept of the 'fairness-sense' and reality? Hell yes, our American government spies on other nations. Hell yes, the American people want our government to spy on other nations. Oh, how's that, you say 'they' don't? Please, don't 'shit yourself,' the American people be all over our government and the President if there was another surprise '9-11' type attack.
Based upon recent events how shall we pursue? I suppose, our country could 'spy' on terrorists training in American to fly commercial jet liners then ignore the data collected and stand by and watch 3,000 Americans die when their work place crumbled into jet fuel ashes. On the other hand, we could lie to our countrymen about spy 'data collected and claim knowledge that some 'evil' country has WMD. We could then decide to show the world our 'shock & awe' power! This approach could certainly present a cowboy strutting moment!
I can relate to the 'spying' operations; I believe it is absolutely the 'way-to-go. I coached over 900 high school basketball games and scouted all the teams we prepared to play. I recall getting ready to leave the house one evening to go scout an upcoming opponent. As I was putting on my jacket, I heard my oldest daughter tell her younger sister, "Daddy is going to 'spy' and get secrets about other teams." She was correct and if her daddy did a good job 'spying,' the family can go on vacation next summer.
Accept this reality:...All nations spy and given the make up of the human species, we SHOULD NOT be so quick to trust but instead be super quick to spy; and we do and they do; get over it!
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Shocked; Not Rendered Stupid
This November (2013) marks the 50th Anniversary of the assassination of former President John F. Kennedy. Once again a parade of theorists will come forward and 'pitch' a variety of conspiracy opinions regarding the events of that day and those times. I was age 24, teaching and coaching in Assumption, Illinois. My wife and I (as most Americans) was perplexed and saddened by this horrific and unimaginable tragedy. The election of young Senator Kennedy captured the fancy of a Nation bringing with it an energized youth movement, which suggested glowing promises. John F. Kennedy, the central figure of what would be referenced as 'Camelot,' was the first President that came into our living rooms for nightly visits on America's 1960's, mostly 'black and white' televisions.
Fifty years later after that terrible day, I believe what I believed back then; Lee Harvey Oswald was not the only individual who 'fired' a gun on Dealey Plaza, (Dallas, Texas) on Friday, November 22, 1963, when JFK was killed. These acts of carnage and the accompanying muddled investigative conclusions shake our moral compass as it erodes our innocence.
Life's journey will offer many deceptive presentations. Please, don't 'bull crap' me about this Tea Party group; those folks purport the interests of reining in government size and spending and I do not dispute their claim BUT if they are not heavy with large numbers of bigoted racists then, I quote singer, Little Milton, "Grits ain't grocery, eggs ain't poultry and Mona Lisa was a Man!"
Fifty years later after that terrible day, I believe what I believed back then; Lee Harvey Oswald was not the only individual who 'fired' a gun on Dealey Plaza, (Dallas, Texas) on Friday, November 22, 1963, when JFK was killed. These acts of carnage and the accompanying muddled investigative conclusions shake our moral compass as it erodes our innocence.
Life's journey will offer many deceptive presentations. Please, don't 'bull crap' me about this Tea Party group; those folks purport the interests of reining in government size and spending and I do not dispute their claim BUT if they are not heavy with large numbers of bigoted racists then, I quote singer, Little Milton, "Grits ain't grocery, eggs ain't poultry and Mona Lisa was a Man!"
Monday, October 28, 2013
Everybody Joins The Club
There are some real monetary advantages to longevity. Shucks, the senior citizen discounts are enough to cause a fella get up before dawn and head to McDonald's for that 'senior coffee' priced @ a mere .65 cents; all subsequent cups are free for the liking. Hell, I walk out of Big Mac Land on the ultimate caffeine high!
My haircut use to cost $14.00 a few years back; today with the 'senior discount' the cut is down to $12.00. When it was $14.00, I gave the beautician a $1.00 tip bringing my cost to $15 bucks. At this 12 dollar senior rate, I tip her two bucks bringing my 'golden-year' hair-trim to $14.00; I am saving a dollar from those long ago cuts while the beautician is making an extra dollar dealing with 'less' hair; it's a win-win situation!
Many restaurants offer those 'senior discount' sections on their menus. I recall those 14-years that my father operated a Steak House in Collinsville, Illinois. Seniors came out of the woods to take advantage of any price break. Many of those 'old-timers' were obnoxiously bold and sometimes a giant 'pain-in-the-ass.' The attitude of these time-worn 'blue-haired gals' and pot-bellied old-boys brought to the table was over-the-top. They often argued to substitute items of greater expense in place of the advertised discount and then bitch about the portions while leaving behind a thirty-five cent tip on a $4.95 soup/salad/sandwich combo... after asking for extra rolls and a doggie-bag. Of course, the waitresses were instructed never to challenge the 'seniors' when they were noticed stuffing their purses with condiments or cloth napkins.
I must stop here; Monday is 'seniors' day at the Red Carpet Car Wash and if you get there before nine o'clock, they have free coffee and donuts...last week I brought one of those French donuts home for my wife...I know what you're thinking; hey, I'm one of THEM!
My haircut use to cost $14.00 a few years back; today with the 'senior discount' the cut is down to $12.00. When it was $14.00, I gave the beautician a $1.00 tip bringing my cost to $15 bucks. At this 12 dollar senior rate, I tip her two bucks bringing my 'golden-year' hair-trim to $14.00; I am saving a dollar from those long ago cuts while the beautician is making an extra dollar dealing with 'less' hair; it's a win-win situation!
Many restaurants offer those 'senior discount' sections on their menus. I recall those 14-years that my father operated a Steak House in Collinsville, Illinois. Seniors came out of the woods to take advantage of any price break. Many of those 'old-timers' were obnoxiously bold and sometimes a giant 'pain-in-the-ass.' The attitude of these time-worn 'blue-haired gals' and pot-bellied old-boys brought to the table was over-the-top. They often argued to substitute items of greater expense in place of the advertised discount and then bitch about the portions while leaving behind a thirty-five cent tip on a $4.95 soup/salad/sandwich combo... after asking for extra rolls and a doggie-bag. Of course, the waitresses were instructed never to challenge the 'seniors' when they were noticed stuffing their purses with condiments or cloth napkins.
I must stop here; Monday is 'seniors' day at the Red Carpet Car Wash and if you get there before nine o'clock, they have free coffee and donuts...last week I brought one of those French donuts home for my wife...I know what you're thinking; hey, I'm one of THEM!
Saturday, October 26, 2013
Sport Relationship Dynamics
Part 3...Sport... Character and the Relationship Dynamics in high school Sports...
I believe that sport participation can assist in the development of the individual; character strength is but one way. Moreover, I believe that sport will readily 'Reveal' the participant's character rather than build it!! Let me suggest the ways one can 'see' this revelation: Regarding the coach's character please observe the following: Does the coach complain about officiating? Does the coach encourage players or intimidate them? Is the coach an ambassador for the school and community? Does the coach cooperate with media, parents and community leaders? Let's look at the player's character displays: Does the player accept a team concept/ role as a squad member? Does the player grandstand/showboat? Does the player shy away from competition when the game is 'on the line?" And of course the parents character will be apparent as well. Does the parent boast about his own over other players? Is the parent critical of other players? Does the parent complain about the coach and/school or administration? Does the parent support the athletic booster club for the 'right' reasons?
Pay attention, parents...There is a good argument for equal playing-time opportunities in youth and elementary age sports. Once the child reaches the middle school years, the equal playing-time debate ends. Of course, if the school district is going to mandate that ALL students get the same academic grades then we need to allow equal sport play-time amongst athletes. However, we do not give 'equal' grade-marks because children excel at different 'things' and should be recognized for those achievements. It's a 'goose & gander' thing as we should view excellence in athlete performance.
A word of caution for the parent and coach to share with the student-athlete: Those who play a lot or succeed are NOT more worthy than others who may experience lesser success. Sport does NOT define one's worth! It may be true that those who excel in sport perhaps have greater self-esteem as does the individual who excels academically; but never do these accomplishments make one person's value greater than another.
Let's speak to the middle-school and high school sport Relationship Dynamics. We established the fact that parents 'want' health, happiness, success and love for their kids. The child wishes to please the parents while fitting in with peers as part of a team. The coach wants to have a respected sport-program and a degree of perceived success. Sometimes these various desires are in sync and yet most often there is a discombobulated dependence, which begs for different perspectives and ultimate conflict. All parties deserve the best experience and it can happen if the written guidelines for communication and resolutions is share with all parties as a contract (signed & filed) and approved by the school administration. Children deserve the best from the adults (parents / coaches /educators) who mentor their activities.
Parents: Behold the beauty and wonder of your child's sport moments: Imagine that the girls' high school basketball game's regulation time expires and your daughter is shooting a one & one bonus foul shot as her team trails by one point; do the math and then realize two factors: (1) you (parents) cannot help your child and (2) there will be an mentally stronger, confident and independent young girl coming home that night. She dared to compete.
I believe that sport participation can assist in the development of the individual; character strength is but one way. Moreover, I believe that sport will readily 'Reveal' the participant's character rather than build it!! Let me suggest the ways one can 'see' this revelation: Regarding the coach's character please observe the following: Does the coach complain about officiating? Does the coach encourage players or intimidate them? Is the coach an ambassador for the school and community? Does the coach cooperate with media, parents and community leaders? Let's look at the player's character displays: Does the player accept a team concept/ role as a squad member? Does the player grandstand/showboat? Does the player shy away from competition when the game is 'on the line?" And of course the parents character will be apparent as well. Does the parent boast about his own over other players? Is the parent critical of other players? Does the parent complain about the coach and/school or administration? Does the parent support the athletic booster club for the 'right' reasons?
Pay attention, parents...There is a good argument for equal playing-time opportunities in youth and elementary age sports. Once the child reaches the middle school years, the equal playing-time debate ends. Of course, if the school district is going to mandate that ALL students get the same academic grades then we need to allow equal sport play-time amongst athletes. However, we do not give 'equal' grade-marks because children excel at different 'things' and should be recognized for those achievements. It's a 'goose & gander' thing as we should view excellence in athlete performance.
A word of caution for the parent and coach to share with the student-athlete: Those who play a lot or succeed are NOT more worthy than others who may experience lesser success. Sport does NOT define one's worth! It may be true that those who excel in sport perhaps have greater self-esteem as does the individual who excels academically; but never do these accomplishments make one person's value greater than another.
Let's speak to the middle-school and high school sport Relationship Dynamics. We established the fact that parents 'want' health, happiness, success and love for their kids. The child wishes to please the parents while fitting in with peers as part of a team. The coach wants to have a respected sport-program and a degree of perceived success. Sometimes these various desires are in sync and yet most often there is a discombobulated dependence, which begs for different perspectives and ultimate conflict. All parties deserve the best experience and it can happen if the written guidelines for communication and resolutions is share with all parties as a contract (signed & filed) and approved by the school administration. Children deserve the best from the adults (parents / coaches /educators) who mentor their activities.
Parents: Behold the beauty and wonder of your child's sport moments: Imagine that the girls' high school basketball game's regulation time expires and your daughter is shooting a one & one bonus foul shot as her team trails by one point; do the math and then realize two factors: (1) you (parents) cannot help your child and (2) there will be an mentally stronger, confident and independent young girl coming home that night. She dared to compete.
Friday, October 25, 2013
Passions, Rights & Responsibilities
Part 2.. .
Passions abound in all quarters of sport. The athlete is by nature an intense competitor.; such passion is both expected and desirable. The coach's occupational choice strongly suggests a passion. I would suggest that every parent passionately wishes for their children four 'things:' (1) Health, (2) happiness, (3) success and (4) love. The reality, however is that no parent can actually deliver these 'joyful-anchors' for a child. By the Grace of God or 'luck,' we have sustaining health. All other desirable wishes (happiness-success-love) must be found and/or achieved by the individual; no parent can give those desires to the child. That said, I have nevertheless witnessed some parents embark on 'missions-for-hell' when they believe that their child has been short-changed or perhaps, in their opinion, not treated fairly by the coach, teacher, friends; you name it...many mommies and daddies are completely blinded by distorted perceptions. They cannot help themselves; they are incapable of objectivity...love misdirected; behavior sad and pathetic.
Over six million teenagers will participate this year in American high school sports' programs and millions more will engage middle school athletics. Some of these youngsters will have good experiences while others will have bad experiences. The kind of experience will be dictated by three major factors: (1) The quality of coaching, (2) insightful parenting and (3) the level of the athlete's commitment to responsibilities. Prior to any school athletic season, the coach should meet with all players and parents. At that meeting all program expectations should be clearly outlined. Athletes, parents and coaches should walk away from this meeting completely understanding 'WHAT' they CAN expect and WHAT IS expected of them! Finally, there should be a clear model described to resolve any 'conflict.' Note: This process is ONLY engaged once per year by any family. Parents have the 'Right' to ask questions and coaches have the obligation to resolve the questions... ONCE.
The following statement should be read to parents and athletes at the beginning of the season:
We can best understand what something IS by establishing what it IS NOT... Sport is not an equal opportunity program...some make the team, some play more than others...some score more than others...and some will be injured playing sport; some parents have one hellava time grasping those sport realities. (Note: The parents will likely NOT remember any thing stated but if it is said in an 'open meeting' and documented then the moral coaching responsibility is met).
The sport dictionary is filled with many cliche's...sport is a microcosm...sport is a mirror or sport builds character. I believe that sport CAN build character but more obvious is how sport reveals character.
Part 3 Tomorrow...How sport reveals character and Understanding the Relationship Dynamics of School Sports.
Passions abound in all quarters of sport. The athlete is by nature an intense competitor.; such passion is both expected and desirable. The coach's occupational choice strongly suggests a passion. I would suggest that every parent passionately wishes for their children four 'things:' (1) Health, (2) happiness, (3) success and (4) love. The reality, however is that no parent can actually deliver these 'joyful-anchors' for a child. By the Grace of God or 'luck,' we have sustaining health. All other desirable wishes (happiness-success-love) must be found and/or achieved by the individual; no parent can give those desires to the child. That said, I have nevertheless witnessed some parents embark on 'missions-for-hell' when they believe that their child has been short-changed or perhaps, in their opinion, not treated fairly by the coach, teacher, friends; you name it...many mommies and daddies are completely blinded by distorted perceptions. They cannot help themselves; they are incapable of objectivity...love misdirected; behavior sad and pathetic.
Over six million teenagers will participate this year in American high school sports' programs and millions more will engage middle school athletics. Some of these youngsters will have good experiences while others will have bad experiences. The kind of experience will be dictated by three major factors: (1) The quality of coaching, (2) insightful parenting and (3) the level of the athlete's commitment to responsibilities. Prior to any school athletic season, the coach should meet with all players and parents. At that meeting all program expectations should be clearly outlined. Athletes, parents and coaches should walk away from this meeting completely understanding 'WHAT' they CAN expect and WHAT IS expected of them! Finally, there should be a clear model described to resolve any 'conflict.' Note: This process is ONLY engaged once per year by any family. Parents have the 'Right' to ask questions and coaches have the obligation to resolve the questions... ONCE.
The following statement should be read to parents and athletes at the beginning of the season:
We can best understand what something IS by establishing what it IS NOT... Sport is not an equal opportunity program...some make the team, some play more than others...some score more than others...and some will be injured playing sport; some parents have one hellava time grasping those sport realities. (Note: The parents will likely NOT remember any thing stated but if it is said in an 'open meeting' and documented then the moral coaching responsibility is met).
The sport dictionary is filled with many cliche's...sport is a microcosm...sport is a mirror or sport builds character. I believe that sport CAN build character but more obvious is how sport reveals character.
Part 3 Tomorrow...How sport reveals character and Understanding the Relationship Dynamics of School Sports.
Thursday, October 24, 2013
Come With Eyes Wide Open
First of a three part blog series:
Recently, a Texas high school football team defeated another team 91-0. A parent of a student-athlete on the losing team 'thinks' the winning coach is guilty of 'bullying' and filed a formal complaint. I don't know the details thus I dare not render an opinion; suffice to put the issue at rest when hearing that 'both' the winning coach and losing coach denied the bullying- accusation. The more troubling issue here is the ever escalating 'helicoptering parent' involvement. I wish to examine the 'how.' 'How' did it come to this? A few years ago we read where a mother of a high school cheerleader candidate had a 'hit' (death) contract out on another cheerleader. Recently a father punched his son's coach. Time and again, we hear of physical confrontations between adults at youth league sports games. What the hell is wrong with these people; these folks who are entrusted with the role of parent?
I have been on all sides of this youth-school sport experience. I was once the youth participant. I coached high school sports for thirty-nine years. I was a parent of sport participating children and now a grandparent following sport activities. I umpired high school and collegiate baseball for eleven years. These aforementioned experiences do NOT make me an expert on the issue of athletes/sports and parents but it sure the hell places me in a stronger deciphering role than most!! I stand on a myriad of experiences as I continue these comments.
I get it!! I understand the euphoric parenting moments: The birth of one's precious child; the first rollover, words, crawling and walking. First school days, first little league team, first dance recital and first dress-up dance with first date...oh my Lord, how many photos have been developed and how many boasting stories told? I get it!! I AM a parent; I AM a grandparent; I too, want for MINE! I GET IT! That said, I also understand that my kid must grow and become strong and self reliant. Once as a sophomore basketball player at East St. Louis high school, I complained about my coach to my parents. My father , in stern tones, said, "Listen boy, if you don't like the situation with your ball team then do something about and change it so you do like it but don't bring that belly-aching home." Holy shit...imagine that parenting style?!
I understand the nature of the principle parties involved: 'No child ever envisions failure and no mother ever gave birth to failure.'....and then along comes sports!!
There is a pending collision course awaiting many middle school and high school coaches and the sport participating families. There are many myths and misconceptions, which abound in the sports' arena. There is one shared common denominator between athletes, coaches and parents; they all come to sport expecting a fun-filled and positive experience...not always does it happen. I liken it to that, which my orthopedic surgeon said to me on three occasions prior to 'cutting' on my spine: "Mel (with this surgery) there are NO GUARANTEES but there are RISKS." Therein, it is also with sport; no guarantees but risks. The child may make the team, he may be a starter on the team, she may be the leading scorer and then he may mostly sit on the bench and seldom play. She could get injured playing. Most assuredly there will be elation and disappointment; emotional highs and lows. Some 'fanatics' (fans) may be unduly critical of your child and you will hear all praise and criticisms.
Tomorrow Part 2: Passions, Rights and Parents on a mission from Hell.
Recently, a Texas high school football team defeated another team 91-0. A parent of a student-athlete on the losing team 'thinks' the winning coach is guilty of 'bullying' and filed a formal complaint. I don't know the details thus I dare not render an opinion; suffice to put the issue at rest when hearing that 'both' the winning coach and losing coach denied the bullying- accusation. The more troubling issue here is the ever escalating 'helicoptering parent' involvement. I wish to examine the 'how.' 'How' did it come to this? A few years ago we read where a mother of a high school cheerleader candidate had a 'hit' (death) contract out on another cheerleader. Recently a father punched his son's coach. Time and again, we hear of physical confrontations between adults at youth league sports games. What the hell is wrong with these people; these folks who are entrusted with the role of parent?
I have been on all sides of this youth-school sport experience. I was once the youth participant. I coached high school sports for thirty-nine years. I was a parent of sport participating children and now a grandparent following sport activities. I umpired high school and collegiate baseball for eleven years. These aforementioned experiences do NOT make me an expert on the issue of athletes/sports and parents but it sure the hell places me in a stronger deciphering role than most!! I stand on a myriad of experiences as I continue these comments.
I get it!! I understand the euphoric parenting moments: The birth of one's precious child; the first rollover, words, crawling and walking. First school days, first little league team, first dance recital and first dress-up dance with first date...oh my Lord, how many photos have been developed and how many boasting stories told? I get it!! I AM a parent; I AM a grandparent; I too, want for MINE! I GET IT! That said, I also understand that my kid must grow and become strong and self reliant. Once as a sophomore basketball player at East St. Louis high school, I complained about my coach to my parents. My father , in stern tones, said, "Listen boy, if you don't like the situation with your ball team then do something about and change it so you do like it but don't bring that belly-aching home." Holy shit...imagine that parenting style?!
I understand the nature of the principle parties involved: 'No child ever envisions failure and no mother ever gave birth to failure.'....and then along comes sports!!
There is a pending collision course awaiting many middle school and high school coaches and the sport participating families. There are many myths and misconceptions, which abound in the sports' arena. There is one shared common denominator between athletes, coaches and parents; they all come to sport expecting a fun-filled and positive experience...not always does it happen. I liken it to that, which my orthopedic surgeon said to me on three occasions prior to 'cutting' on my spine: "Mel (with this surgery) there are NO GUARANTEES but there are RISKS." Therein, it is also with sport; no guarantees but risks. The child may make the team, he may be a starter on the team, she may be the leading scorer and then he may mostly sit on the bench and seldom play. She could get injured playing. Most assuredly there will be elation and disappointment; emotional highs and lows. Some 'fanatics' (fans) may be unduly critical of your child and you will hear all praise and criticisms.
Tomorrow Part 2: Passions, Rights and Parents on a mission from Hell.
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