Gimme Gimme

I was chatting with my brother, Tom recently and he asked a question about our maternal grandfather, E.V. Bennett, which I couldn't answer. We both agreed that we missed opportunities to question our Grandparents when we had the chance. It is true and sad that death closes the book on stories untold. I suppose the conversation with my brother got me to thinking about our grandparents and parents. They were perhaps the most significant people in our lives and they are gone from our midst; most for many years.

I couldn't help but attempt to imagine what my folks and grandparents would think about today's culture.Talk about 'strangers in paradise.' And then again, perhaps 'strangers in hell.'

Here's a statistic that I believe would cause my grandparents pain: cohabiting has increased 900% over the past 50-years. Three out of four women have cohabited with a male partner by the age of 30.
Forty percent marry that partner. I suppose sixty percent 'change' partners.

I recall getting home from my high school prom around 1:00AM. Not today's high school prom goers. Several  years ago, I was a guest speaker at a Coaches' clinic at the Marriott by St. Louis' Lambert Airport. Mid afternoon I noticed many parents dropping off teenagers and assisting them  with registration. The parents then left. Later that evening I questioned one of the young men waiting for his date to return from the restroom. He told me that parents check their kids into the hotel on  prom night signing off on any room damages. He continued explaining that parents know their kids are going to drink alcohol on prom night and the parents would rather them not drive but stay over night at the hotel. (Note: I would loved to have see my father's expression had I said to him in 1957, "Hey dad would you sign a waiver for damages at a hotel where me and my date are going to drink and sleep together after prom?")

In the 1950's high school age kids took senior trips to Washington D. C. or New York City. Today, high school seniors go for week long senior trips to exotic places, i.e. Aruba.

The other evening I woke at 2:00AM hearing loud engines outside our home. Upon investigation, I saw two fire trucks at the neighbor's home two doors to the South. They've lived there two years. I'd tell you their names but I don't know their names. I've been busy watching television, checking email and Facebook. Mammy Bennett would scold me for that missed opportunity. Back in the day, my parents actually neighbored with everybody on our street. I knew most every neighbors and I also knew what kind of work they did. Not these days.

Once upon a time, some (not all) family's had a 'family car.' Rarely did a family have two cars. Most families today have an auto for everybody of driving age.

It would seem that Americans today embrace two philosophies: 'more and sooner' is better.
Self indulgence is our greatest objective.

We Are Disingenuous

President Donald Trump and his 'white' evangelical base project a bogus embrace of life's sanctity.  The evangelicals of which I speak are those who truly believed Trump would deliver, as he did a second conservative Supreme Court Justice that would finally overturn Roe v. Wade. Perhaps that will happen and perhaps not...time will disclose.

Two things for certain: Both Trump and that segment of evangelicals are disingenuous and disconnected from the larger picture of life. Out of one side of the mouth they cry sinfulness in abortion but once a child is born in poverty they fail to support those very programs that care for many of these children. Their anti-support position seems anchored in their belief that our 'giving' is toxic and folks need to stop expecting handouts. Tell that to a crying infant who is malnourished. Secondly, the same conservative crowd fails to speak out against Capital Punishment, which has been proven too often murder the innocent.

Trump acts in an excessively subservient manner to leaders of Russia, North Korea, China and Saudi Arabia. All of these nations have documented evidence demonstrating their horrific attacks on human rights. The leaders of these countries commonly have dissenters killed. The fact that we (America) know this but ignore it if there's a financial deal to be made for America or for Donald Trump is despicable. Our American philosophy seems to be if we have profitable business dealings with these evil empires then look the other way when those regimes commit murder or other atrocities against mankind.

Apparently, America's Christianity and moral values has a price tag on its moral values. This is usually the case in a nation of immoral leaders. Greed and power above decency and principles.

I Don't Understand

Some things remain beyond my ability to comprehend. I don't understand. It belies common sense.

My city wants to pass an ordinance prohibiting street panhandlers; those guys and gals standing at busy intersections holding signs, i.e., "Out of Work. Hungry." Those folks don't bother me one bit. Most of the time I just pass them by yet other times, I stop and give them a couple of bucks. My choice. Why doesn't someone pass an ordinance that stops people from telephoning my home six or seven times a day asking for money. Those are the people intruding! I Don't understand.

I suppose there is well over 500 names called 'friends' on my Facebook. I know some of these folks very well but some I don't know at all but simply accepted their friendship because they are friends with many people I do know. Regardless of how well I know these so-called friends, why in the world would I elect to debate and argue with them about political leaders and political philosophies held by leaders who don't give a 'rat's booty' about our plight in life.
If I'm not careful I'm libel to make enemies out of friends I don't even know. I don't  understand.

Speaking of politics, I read where over 70% of political ads are negative ads. That means 30% of the time the individual seeking office tells us 'why' they would be good in that position. Politicians 'use' negative ads because negative ads work. Most people are too damn lazy to research and they find it much easier to just 'dislike' or 'hate.' Therefore, toss the haters some 'red meat.' Kinda like prejudices and bigotry; it is so easy to embrace. This I understand and wish I didn't.

If we spend so much money on military strength and boast about being the most powerful nation in the world, why don't we win wars? We have not had a war victory since WWII and even then we left some unfinished business. I don't understand unless it's just good for the economy to have young men and women always playing war games and being in harms way. Never mind, I think I understand this one.

I notice frequently my Christian brothers and sisters get in a tizzy about God not being in our public schools as in daily prayer. I truly wonder how many American families 'pray together' in their homes?I know only about 14% of my Christian brothers and sisters are actually in a church weekly. It seems fair to conclude that God is NOT in American homes therefore what's the big deal if God is not in schools? Are people so ignorant not to understand that a nation cannot have true freedoms and then have God in the public schools or for that matter public anything. This is NOT a rejection of God but an acknowledgment that in a free society we simply cannot pick one citizen's God over another citizen's God. I understand but many don't understand that concept!

I'll stop here for I'm sure I've given you good reason to get out the 'slings and arrows.' Have At It!

Just (DON'T) Do It.

September 2, 2013, then President Obama put his feet on top of the Oval Office desk and when the photo hit the newspapers the Republican pundits had a 'hissy-fit.' Keep that thought in mind as you continue to read.

If this nation ever does have that 'elusive' conversation about race, please send me an invitation because I do have a couple of points I wish to throw against the wall.

Basically, I can sum it up with two concerns: (1) I tired of White people demeaning Blacks and (2) Equally weary of Black people demeaning Blacks. You read it correctly. Both Blacks and Whites are guilty of 'using' Blacks in negative, weakening and disgusting ways. They both need to stop crippling an entire race of people.

The President of the United States knows very well that a large segment of his base embraces bigotry. That is no secret. David Duke has said the same and white supremacist groups have visually played it out. Trump? He said he never heard of David Duke but then Trump is a bare-faced liar. Trump also said some of those white supremacist are "good people." To keep his base energized with their prejudicial bigotry,Trump attacks Black NFL players calling them "sons-a-bitches" for kneeling in protest during our National Anthem. He's full of if! Every American should strongly defend the First Amendment with the same fervor that gun lovers defend the Second Amendment.

A few days ago, Trump invited rap singer, Kanye West to the Oval office in an attempt to USE THE Black man as a prop to demonstrate the President's more inclusive side. It was inevitable that Kanye West's bizarre deranged behavior frequently shown was certain to be on display in this news-camera filled room...West was true to his bi-polar persona. His vulgar laced incoherent blabbering made  Trump look stupid and uncomfortable. In the future, Trump should question his son in-law's suggestions.

Afterward, we note political talk show pundits and guests attempting to analyze Kanye's Oval Office cursing tirade. Of course, the Republican mouthpieces would continue to defend Trump no matter what Kanye would have done. And then there are the Black political pundits who don't have the gumption or intestinal fortitude to take West to the woodshed just because he's a 'brother.' That's crap, too! Those folks need to suck it up.

Whether you're in the minority or majority group, you deserve respect and should be afforded dignity. Likewise, nobody should be given a 'pass' for obnoxious stupid, ignorant and bigoted behavior.

It is what it is and should be called out! Once EVERYBODY is held to the same expectations and standards regardless of skin pigmentation, religious persuasions or ethnicity, we will no longer need the conversation on Race.

Little Things Can Mean A Lot

My wife and I went out for dinner last evening and before we returned home we had spent nearly $500.00. Two dinners cost a bit over forty bucks while a automatic dishwasher accounted for the remainder and I don't even like automatic dishwashers. If I had my way, we would not have one of those things in our home. More on that later.

We were backed into a corner and felt we had to purchase a dishwasher for two reasons. First: One day, we two oldsters will come to our senses and realize that even though a two story home with four bedrooms and two flights of steps offers cardio exercise benefits, we will need to show new home buyers a dishwasher. Secondly: Our adult children and grandkids chipped in on my wife's birthday to give her money earmarked, 'dishwasher.' We appreciate their gift but make no mistake those children held self-interests in that gift. The last time they were all in our home the number counted 27-people and that generated many dishes, which were all hand washed and towel dried by people other than the old folks.

Now, let me make my case for a dishwasher-less house. I believe an automatic dishwasher 'diminishes' marital bliss. (No, I am not senile nor have I lost my mind). I observed marital bonding as a kid growing up as I watched my parents each night after supper share in the dish washing chores. Mother washed and dad dried and put away. Those many years my wife and I did not have a dishwasher, we did likewise. Even with a dishwasher, when it's just my wife and I we never use the  automatic dishwasher. Those moments sharing a joint chore near the end of the day provides a  married couple the opportunity to share their day, plan for a new day and simply chat without the distractions of others, television, gadgets or any outside interferences.

The Decatur Roustio's will use their new dishwasher Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter. The other 362-days a year, my wife and I will do dishes together...it's a special time. Come to think of it, perhaps I am a little crazy.
(Touch)
Little Things

A Sweet Flashback

The weather turned fall like cool yesterday. Last night as I walked with Toy Poodle, Yodie to the backyard, I felt a nip in the air. In the near distance I could hear the sound of a basketball bouncing on the Our Lady of Lourdes elementary school court, which is adjacent to our home. I saw a neighborhood boy shooting baskets. The scene reminded me of a time in my own teenage journey when after supper, I'd head to our lighted backyard basketball court wearing a light sweatshirt, Levi's,  Chuck Taylor converse tennis shoes and cotton work gloves with the fingers cut off. I'd put up hundreds of jump shots all by myself until the Washington Park, East St. Louis 9 o'clock whistle blew or the local police stopped to tell me it was time to give the neighbors a break. Night after night I'd repeat that routine from 1953 until the fall of 1957, when I left home for Illinois State.

This 2018, Decatur evening! I walked down the pathway to the court and began rebounding shots for the lad. A few times I put up a couple of my own very stationary shots. My thought process kicked in and I could automatically recall the jump shot mechanics. Catching a pass and quickly gathering the basketball into both hands, instantly arranging a carriage hand placement alongside the leather sphere with the shooting hand directly behind the ball. The slight bend of the knees and quick elevation from the floor and just before the peak of that vertical the smooth stroke-release from the forearm and the snap of the wrist and the feel of the ball rolling off the finger-tips. Oh, yes indeed the mental recall is as fresh as if it had been called upon everyday these past 65-years. Ah, but the body's components racked with back surgeries and aging atrophy no longer relate to the mind's recall. But the mind does allow sweet memories.

 Oh My! God only knows how lucky I've been.

Social Wife & 3-Year Old Son=High Risk

My 39-year coaching career took my wife and I into six different communities. It has been a wonderful experience and journey. We have dear friends in each of  those communities and I must give my wife, Gerry credit for making such terrific friends. She is absolutely a peoples' person...she loves folks...me?...I'm a tad more guarded but that's a story for another day.

On more than a few occasions, my wife's love for friendship gatherings has created lasting memories. I share this: The year was 1965. We had moved to Mason City, Illinois the summer of 1964 in preparation for my first varsity basketball coaching job. Our son, Steve was three years old. After we moved to the home on Tonica Street, Steve made good friends with a kid named Bruce. Steve had pee peed on Bruce's head while playing and suddenly their blood-brothers or something. Bruce and Steve were worthy of watching. One afternoon, they teamed and collected neighborhood mail and brought it to our house. Needless to say that was a rather unpleasant way to make new-neighbor introductions. A few weeks later Bruce and Steve put a wet kitten in our clothes dryer to 'fluff him up." Thank goodness Gerry quickly rescued the feline.

Our next door neighbors were Charles and Ethel. They were late-seventies and Charles never knew Gerry's real name. He insisted on calling her "Gertie." Ethel had advanced dementia if not Alzheimer's. Wearing two dresses at once and sporting hats, Ethel often took off walking to some imaginary meeting. Everybody took turns gathering her back home. She and 3-year old Stevie sat   together frequently on Ethel's backyard swing. I wish I had a recording of those chats.

One Sunday after church, Gerry insisted we visit a 60th Wedding Anniversary Party next door in honor of Charles and Ethel. Against my better judgment , I reluctantly agreed. While sitting on a sun room chair with a group of seniors, I noticed Stevie moving towards a dinning room table sporting a large array of Anniversary gifts. Gerry was preoccupied with gibberish-jabber. Suddenly, Stevie grabbed the table cloth and began pulling it. I yelled, "Gertie!" (Hey that was her name in that house!) I then saw my wife sprinting across hardwood floors in her high-heel shoes. As she attempted to stop, she slid and fell to the floor catching a crystal punch Bowl. Spinning around on her butt with her legs spread gave an interesting underpants view to the 'sunroom boys.'

Over the next three years, Gertie was popular with Charles' buddies.