Cannot Imagine

There is nothing greater than trauma that begs for the human touch and interaction. I don't know if that need is nourished while the child is yet in the womb sensing the mother's heart beat or if it is a postnatal learn behavior.

This thought brings me to one of the most heartbreaking human experiences I can imagine, the act of dying alone . I have always been troubled with that scenario; it eats at my gut. This is the reason I insisted on being bedside when my maternal grandmother, Mammy Bennett passed, when my father took his final breath and when my mother left her earthly journey. I could not endure the thought of those people who were such a foundational and integral part of my life would face death alone. I had to be with them, I had to hold their hand just in case they might know.

This brings me to today's difficult circumstances around the coronavirus. Because this virus is so highly contagious, people who are at death's door must be isolated and therefore family members are not permitted to be at their bedside; their loved one dies alone. Family cannot orchestrate a normal funeral visitation or burial where friends and family can pay respects and say their goodbyes.

Let me share with you...When my father's cardiovascular team told the family that nothing more could be done to reverse his heart failure, my dad knew he would die shortly. I telephoned my good doctor friend, James Green to specifically ask questions about the physical pattern of death. He shared a few perspectives then made one thing clear as he stated, "It is believed that even people in a coma may still be able to hear voices, therefore keep talking to your dad during your vigil." My wife Gerry and I laid across his bed and spoke softly to him. At a point in time he began mumbling a repeated phrase, "Oh boy, oh boy, I can't get there..." over and over he said those words and over and over I told him, "You can get there Dad and it's okay to go, it's okay, mom will be fine." He finally got to that place in the wee-hours of the morning and though I was resolved to let him go, I still to this day wish I could talk baseball with my hero.

To those individuals who dare suggest that a senior's life is somehow less important than the economy, I pray for you for you are a godless and heartless person who knows not the love Jesus Christ commanded us to give.. My prayer for you is specific, I pray that you not face death alone. Understand, death is inevitable, it will come to all...just not today, not alone and never for money.