You Thought the Chicken Jumped Into the Frying Pan

As 'they' say, "What goes around comes around." I read in the newspaper yesterday that residents of Winnebago County (upstate Illinois) have a petition asking officials to allow residents to raise chickens in their backyard. As my grandpa would say, "Hells bells, when did folks stop raising chickens in the backyard?" Personally, I think 'backyard chicken-raising' is more an American 'right' than found in our Second Amendment.

I view this news of a possible resurgence of 'backyard chicken coops' as an opportunity for me to help and make a few coins on the side. Look, I shall write a book explaining the various chicken-killing techniques. This generation of American households has not been schooled in 'chicken killing methods.' Okay, don't grab a negative attitude nor be offended by my words; the majority of people love fried chicken and I am here to tell you that the first step in the fried-chicken process is executing the bird.

The 1940's, East St. Louis saw most homes with some kind of 'chicken-coop' in the backyard. Most folks had fryers and laying hens. As a young boy, I hated having the morning egg gathering chore. First, the coop stunk some thing awful, especially during summer months. (Fact: The chicken is a nasty creature and much dirty than any other. They scratch around in their own waste pecking for food and they are mean to weaker birds). Collecting eggs, I always felt a bit guilty when the mother hen would look at me. Somehow, I thought she might know that our kidnapping plan included 'scrambling' her offspring for breakfast.

Okay, my book will include both the Roustio (paternal) and Bennett (maternal) families chicken slaughtering ways. Grandma Roustio was a 'wringer.' She'd grab the bird by the neck and wind up like an Alabama University softball pitcher and then 'SNAP'...there goes the body detached from the head. My Father was what we called 'a step and pull' fella. Grandpa E.V. Bennett was perhaps the most humane executioner, he took the bird by the legs, held his hatchet in the other hand and found a nearby tree stump.

The health community experts tell us that a chicken eating_diet is a healthy choice...honestly, I struggle to consume the bird.

Thinking back to those chicken raising days of yesteryear, the only enjoyable moment in 'Slaughter-Saturday' was watching the family dogs chase headless chickens around the yard as the birds flopped their way to scalding vat of water for feathers' detachment and eventually Sunday's dinner plate.