A Father Figure?...I Wanna Tell You!

My wife usually arranges her daily chores so that she might take a break mid-afternoon to watch  television's psychoanalyst guru, Dr. Phil. Actually, Hallmark Movies, Dr. Phil, The Big Bang Theory  and Cuomo Prime Time 'float her boat.' A few days ago, I watched a Dr.Phil episode with her and noted an oft used phrase by the good Doctor. In making a point regarding parenting, Phil said, "The most influential parent in a child's life is the same sex parent."

I didn't doubt that the first time I heard it and I'll always subscribe to the notion. I suppose with Fathers' Day approaching, I gave more thought than usual to my own father's impact on my developmental years. From as far back as I recall I felt loved by both parents. I had a strong sense of security and self-esteem. I suppose like many young boys, I sought my Dad's approval more strongly than mom's. Perhaps mother's more readily emit for a child's consumption a feeling of pride and endorsement. I got a clear picture early; I was loved but not worshiped.

Those motivating "Atta Boys" from Dad during adolescent years soon were tempered with more subtle comments suggesting that which I was accomplishing is being done by many and some are doing more. Many of my father's staple comments kept me grounded and focused: "Teammates don't like 'gold bricks' but everybody loves a humble hustler." "Don't complain about things in your life; make things better."  

As a young adult, I began appreciating more his lessons taught through observation. He presented himself with dignity and class but always expressing interest and concern for the other guy. His leadership skills were to be committed to memory. I marveled at my father's ability to create a  ownership atmosphere for a group in pursuit of a purpose or cause. He was a master at it and quick to give credit to another.

This Father's Day, I shall remember many moments with my father. Certainly I will recall St. Louis baseball games at Sportsman's Park with my dad. We saw Stan Musial hit five home runs (May 1954) in a double-header against the N.Y. Giants. We also watched Musial's final game (1963) when he got two hits off Red's pitcher, Jim Maloney. But the best Cardinals' game I ever watched with my dad was the Cardinals-Brewers' final game of the 1982 World Series. I sat with dad in his private room at Barnes-Jewish Hospital (St. Louis) where he was recovering from one of his worst heart failure episodes. That was one special night!

Call it luck or call it a blessing; my good fortune was being born to those parents and I will attest to the claim made by Dr. Phil.

May your Father's Day recollections also be heart-warming. And if your Pop is still sharing this life's journey, may I suggest you get all you can from the moment.