If I Had My Way!

Traveling down the interstate highway recently, I searched sirius radio for an 'oldies' station with success. I dialed-in on a station that was playing a Mills Brothers' song entitled, "If I Had My Way." The song's lyrics is terrific. If you'd like to telephone me, I'll sing a few bars but don't expect it to sound as sweet and mello as the Mills Brothers' rendition. The song reminds me of how everybody would love to 'have' things go according to their own desires and wishes; if I only had my way! I thought about big things and small things: If Romney could have his way, he will be called 'Mr. President' in January 2013. Obama's way would be keeping the 'handle' for a second term. My wife would like the toilet seat left in the 'down' position; her WAY. Rush Limbaugh wrote a book entitled, 'The Way Things Ought to Be.' Enough said about Rush.

Well, if I had My Way...
All counter tops would be four inches higher. (I am 6'3")
The employee at the convenient/gasoline store would pump my gas, clean windshields & bring change.
Baseball managers could only use three pitchers per game and batters could NOT wear gloves.
College athletes would be held to the same entrance standards as non-athletes.
Grass stops growing at three-inches.
Vegetables would be bad for you and chocolate would one of the main food groups.
Dance recitals would have a ninety-minute time limit.
No one could telephone asking for money.
Television commercials could not begin with a louder volume than the programming.
Black male singers could not touch their crotch during a performance.
White male singers could not emulate Black male singers.
Fox News could be sued for using the phrase, 'Fair and Balanced.'
First time child sex offenders would be imprisoned for life.
All elected officials would have term limits.
Elected officials convicted of a felony would forfeit all retirement money.
All lines at Wal Mart would be open.
Theater movies would start at the advertised times and Congress would investigate 'price-gouging' on movie theater popcorn.

Enough with my rants; I must use the restroom...you got it...I intend to leave the seat 'UP.'