I need to speak to my children and grandchildren about acceptable attire. Let me explain the experience, which prompts this notion. Last week while at Wal Mart, I sat down waiting for my wife to show up at the checkout counter. I waited for about 15 minutes and observed several people passing through the lines. I have concluded the following:
1) Women who have stretch marks on their bosoms that look like an LA city road map should NOT wear low cut blouses.
2) No matter how big a man's 'guns' become from weightlifting he should never put his arms above his head while wearing cut-off T-shirts! For similar reasons an unshaven woman should NOT wear sleeveless tops.
3) If one has allergies that may cause one nasal drainage issues, one should never get a nose-ring or wear a moustache.
4) If any of my grandkids get a tattoo the design should not have the tattoo showing an arrow pointing to any body part.
5) Open-toed shoes and sandals are okay as long as the person's toenails are NOT the color of field corn.
6) If your feet are not standing on sand don't wear clothing showing the stomach.
7) Use some discretion wearing T-shirts with writing. I saw a man come through the Wal Mart checkout line with writing on his T-shirt, "If you ain't Lutheran, you ain't shit." I am sure any other Lutherans were appalled; but who knows. I saw a Middle Eastern looking gent walk into Wal Mart but the writing on his shirt was in Arabic...I don't have a clue!
I must not dawdle at this typing machine this morning. I need to drive my wife to St. John's Hospital (Springfield, Il.) for her annual heart thallium-treadmill test to determine any year's damage from periodic coronary spasms. Pray and hope for good news.
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