First of a three part blog series:
Recently, a Texas high school football team defeated another team 91-0. A parent of a student-athlete on the losing team 'thinks' the winning coach is guilty of 'bullying' and filed a formal complaint. I don't know the details thus I dare not render an opinion; suffice to put the issue at rest when hearing that 'both' the winning coach and losing coach denied the bullying- accusation. The more troubling issue here is the ever escalating 'helicoptering parent' involvement. I wish to examine the 'how.' 'How' did it come to this? A few years ago we read where a mother of a high school cheerleader candidate had a 'hit' (death) contract out on another cheerleader. Recently a father punched his son's coach. Time and again, we hear of physical confrontations between adults at youth league sports games. What the hell is wrong with these people; these folks who are entrusted with the role of parent?
I have been on all sides of this youth-school sport experience. I was once the youth participant. I coached high school sports for thirty-nine years. I was a parent of sport participating children and now a grandparent following sport activities. I umpired high school and collegiate baseball for eleven years. These aforementioned experiences do NOT make me an expert on the issue of athletes/sports and parents but it sure the hell places me in a stronger deciphering role than most!! I stand on a myriad of experiences as I continue these comments.
I get it!! I understand the euphoric parenting moments: The birth of one's precious child; the first rollover, words, crawling and walking. First school days, first little league team, first dance recital and first dress-up dance with first date...oh my Lord, how many photos have been developed and how many boasting stories told? I get it!! I AM a parent; I AM a grandparent; I too, want for MINE! I GET IT! That said, I also understand that my kid must grow and become strong and self reliant. Once as a sophomore basketball player at East St. Louis high school, I complained about my coach to my parents. My father , in stern tones, said, "Listen boy, if you don't like the situation with your ball team then do something about and change it so you do like it but don't bring that belly-aching home." Holy shit...imagine that parenting style?!
I understand the nature of the principle parties involved: 'No child ever envisions failure and no mother ever gave birth to failure.'....and then along comes sports!!
There is a pending collision course awaiting many middle school and high school coaches and the sport participating families. There are many myths and misconceptions, which abound in the sports' arena. There is one shared common denominator between athletes, coaches and parents; they all come to sport expecting a fun-filled and positive experience...not always does it happen. I liken it to that, which my orthopedic surgeon said to me on three occasions prior to 'cutting' on my spine: "Mel (with this surgery) there are NO GUARANTEES but there are RISKS." Therein, it is also with sport; no guarantees but risks. The child may make the team, he may be a starter on the team, she may be the leading scorer and then he may mostly sit on the bench and seldom play. She could get injured playing. Most assuredly there will be elation and disappointment; emotional highs and lows. Some 'fanatics' (fans) may be unduly critical of your child and you will hear all praise and criticisms.
Tomorrow Part 2: Passions, Rights and Parents on a mission from Hell.
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