Sport Relationship Dynamics

Part 3...Sport... Character and the Relationship Dynamics in high school Sports...

I believe that sport participation can assist in the development of the individual; character strength is but one way. Moreover, I believe that sport will readily 'Reveal' the participant's character rather than build it!! Let me suggest the ways one can 'see' this revelation: Regarding the coach's character please observe the following: Does the coach complain about officiating? Does the coach encourage players or intimidate them? Is the coach an ambassador for the school and community? Does the coach cooperate with media, parents and community leaders? Let's look at the player's character displays: Does the player accept a team concept/ role as a squad member? Does the player grandstand/showboat? Does the player shy away from competition when the game is 'on the line?" And of course the parents character will be apparent as well. Does the parent boast about his own over other players? Is the parent critical of other players? Does the parent complain about the coach and/school or administration? Does the parent support the athletic booster club for the 'right' reasons?

Pay attention, parents...There is a good argument for equal playing-time opportunities in youth and elementary age sports. Once the child reaches the middle school years, the equal playing-time debate ends. Of course, if the school district is going to mandate that ALL students get the same academic grades then we need to allow equal sport play-time amongst athletes. However, we do not give 'equal' grade-marks because children excel at different 'things' and should be recognized for those achievements. It's a 'goose & gander' thing as we should view excellence in athlete performance.

A word of caution for the parent and coach to share with the student-athlete: Those who play a lot or succeed are NOT more worthy than others who may experience lesser success. Sport does NOT define one's worth! It may be true that those who excel in sport perhaps have greater self-esteem as does the individual who excels academically; but never do these accomplishments make one person's value greater than another.

Let's speak to the middle-school and high school sport Relationship Dynamics. We established the fact that parents 'want' health, happiness, success and love for their kids. The child wishes to please the parents while fitting in with peers as part of a team. The coach wants to have a respected sport-program and a degree of perceived success. Sometimes these various desires are in sync and yet most often there is a discombobulated dependence, which begs for different perspectives and ultimate conflict. All parties deserve the best experience and it can happen if the written guidelines for communication and resolutions is share with all parties as a contract (signed & filed) and approved by the school administration. Children deserve the best from the adults (parents / coaches /educators) who mentor their activities.

Parents: Behold the beauty and wonder of your child's sport moments: Imagine that the girls' high school basketball game's regulation time expires and your daughter is shooting a one & one bonus foul shot as her team trails by one point; do the math and then realize two factors: (1) you (parents) cannot help your child and (2) there will be an mentally stronger, confident and independent young girl coming home that night. She dared to compete.