The 'Who Cares' Age

Next week,  I will turn seventy-five. I believe my entitlement rights increase significantly at  this three-quarter-century mark. I am resolved to shift gears; ...now hear me roar...


*  I shall no longer give a second thought about 'repeating' stories; I may likely tell it better the second time.
*  I am no longer going to struggle holding back a 'fart' in public places, in fact, I am thinking about asking people to 'pull my finger.'
*  I am not going to bend over for dropped objects but wait for another to pick it up.
*  I intend to throw away all my dress shoes and colored socks...I plan to wear only tennis shoes and 'white' socks!
*  I intend to make a noise every time I am waiting in line at Wal Mart...when they first opened that corporation's stores motto (printed on the back of vests) said, "At Wal Mart, You Are Always Next in Line."
*  I am going to 'market' Men's Tie Dye underwear for seniors; it will disguise 'skid marks' & other areas of discoloration.
*  I plan to 'dunk' food items in milk or coffee while in public places; those same food items I normally 'dunk' at home.
*  I presently prepare about 60% of our meals. I intend to increase that to 75%; my wife deserves the break.
*  I am going to walk more and complain less...well, for damn sure I plan to walk more.
*  I intend to 'burn' (copy) more of my '50's record collection onto CD's ; I plan to give them to grandkids.
*  I intend to expand my vegetable garden in hopes to reduce my waistline.
*  I will continue to get on the floor twice daily to play with the Toy Poodle, Yodie until the day that I cannot get up off the  floor.
*  I shall continue expressing my passion for the St. Louis (baseball) Cardinals...it remains the 'only' sports team I have ever followed.
*  I will 'try' to curb my use of bad langue while watching the Cardinals !! Hope springs eternal.
*  I plan to continue my efforts to improve the Decatur high schools' (Eisenhower & MacArthur) sports programs.
*  I shall attempt to avoid being in any snow.
*  I will continue, at age 75, to thank God morning and night for the opportunities, abilities, health and love ones between those times.