NO NEED TO ASK ANYBODY EXCEPT THE COACH:
When I played high school sports, my parents nor I ever dreamed of questioning the Coach on any decision he might make. In fact, I complained once to my parents about my high school Coach and my father scolded me saying, "If you don't like your basketball situation then do something to change it to your liking." During my first three varsity coaching years, I was in Mason City and those parents were conditioned as was my father. After those inaugural seasons, I noticed things changing. Parents were more and more inclined to complain about their sons' playing time and perhaps how he was being used. Parents would telephone the Coach and ask the Coach not tell the kid that his parent called or the parent would by-pass the Coach and telephone an administrator to voice a complaint. Of course the administrator would then ask the coach questions.
I decided that it was time to take this issue head-on. At Jacksonville, we established the following sport-family rules-of- engagement protocol: I accepted the fact that parents need and deserve answers and I wanted to be the direct contact-person to answer those question. At the beginning of each
basketball season once our freshmen, sophomore and varsity squads were established, I required parents and players to attend a pre-season meeting with all coaches in attendance. The Board of Education/District academic and behavior code policy was explained and then I outlined my specific team rules and expectations. I also explained what parents could expect from our coaches.
Regarding the issue of parents wishing specific answers to questions about 'their' son the following guideline was explained and required parental signature. If you have a question about your son's playing time or other aspects of his team membership you are to telephone your son's head coach. A meeting date and time will be setup at the coach's office. Attending that meeting WILL BE player, parent(s), head coach and assistant coach. The meeting will begin with the player explaining his concern, which caused him to have his parent request the meeting. All parties would have speaking opportunities. The player will close the meeting answering two questions: Are you satisfied with the conversation exchanges? Do you still wish to be a part of our team? I may have had one such requested meeting a year. Administrators embraced the plan because they were now 'off-the-hook.'
The reality is most players feel great pressure tomplease parents and often times casually suggest that the he 'reason' they ar not playing more is 'coach won't give me a chance,' 'Coach doesn't like me,' I out play so-&-so in practice,' yadayadayada... Now the kid is off he accountability hook and Coach is now the bad guy. Once I get stablished the aforementioned process for parents to communicate with coach, the telephone calls stopped. You understand that 'junior' did not want a conversation with parents and two coaches.
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