Thinking On It

I've been 'mullin' a good bit lately. Old grandpa, E.V. Bennett did a lot of 'mullin' and 'ponderin.' I discovered later in my teens that mullin and ponderin are the same; never got around to asking Grandpa E.V. what situation called for one or the other. I recall once as a youngster going into Grandpa's backyard where he was looking up at an apple tree; I asked, "What ya lookin' at Grandpa?" He said, "I'm ponderin how to get the apples off those top branches before they fall and bruise." He went on to say, "I'll keep mullin on it while I sit a spell and do a  little whittling." Sure wish I had gotten some clarification from the old-timer.

I have been doing both mullin and ponderin as I consider my future against this current socio-economic backdrop. Elderly folks are up against the wall these days trying to make ends meet. I hear stories of old timers turning heat down and sitting in the dark to save on power bills while electing to eat cat food so they can afford medicines.

I have a good teacher retirement but the State of Illinois government has used most of those retirement monies to pay for other stuff and now the State is flat-ass broke. To quote Fats Domino, "Ain't It a Shame." I anticipate getting a "Dear Retiree" letter soon. I also have a good supplement insurance to go with Medicare, however it is just a matter of time before I have a stroke filling out government forms or punching endless telephone numbers talking to automated voices as I attempt to negotiate the maze when filing any claims. As my mental faculties become more compromised, I anticipate things going from bad to worse.

I am not going to expect my children to take care of me; therefore, I am mullin over committing a felony and being incarcerated. I would then receive three squares a day, free dental (false teeth are just around the next piece of corn-on-the-cob) and free prescription drugs, not to mention the availability of some recreational drugs. Actually, I am just ponderin, which law breaking act to commit; one that will not result in tazing because I hate it when I mess my pants.

Oh, Grandpa E.V. Bennett got his pondering right. He came back to the yard with a gunny sack and told me to climb that tree and pick those apples off the top branches, he said, "When the sacks filled climb back down and we'll have a bowl of homemade ice cream."  Grandpa E.V. got his apples; I got my ice cream and the next day my Mammy put a scoop of ice cream on a piece of homemade hot apple pie for the young apple picker.