Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Score One For the Doctor

A few weeks ago, I had my annual physical examination. I always schedule that physical the first appointment...thus I minimize time spent sitting in the doctor's office. I filled out that lengthy family-medical-history questionnaire; they now have seventeen copies telling whomever reads that thing that I had a tonsillectomy at age five. I did note a new section on the chart. It asked several questions, i.e., 'In the last year has anyone physically harmed me, threatened to harm me, insulted me or talked down to me.' In the space provided, I answered with a question: "Are you shitting me?" Then I realized that many people do abuse or insult love ones...I then answered the question; "I think not and don't anticipate it."

The nurse escorted me to the examination room took blood pressure, temp and asked a few questions. She then told me, "The Doctor will be in shortly."  He never comes in shortly, so I turned off the lights and stretched out on the examination table and closed my eyes. Perhaps seven minutes passed and the door opened and I heard the startled Doc say, "Whoa, it's dark in here." When he turned the lights on, I asked him, "If you had walked in and found me dead on this table would you charge my wife for this office call?" I asked the question as a joke; the good Doctor took it seriously and began explaining how it would be his legal right to charge. I countered saying, "Holy crap Doc, this is NOT a legal question but a moral-compassionate question." He then won the tit-for-tat exchange saying, "I would not charge your wife for an office call if I discovered you dead upon entering the examination room; I like your wife and wish to keep her as a patient."

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