I Would if Only I Could

Often times when our entire family gathers, I look around surveying fifteen grandchildren and a feeling of guilt enters my thoughts. I know in my heart of hearts they have been denied living in tranquility. Let me explain my feelings.

St. Louis, Missouri ranks #1 in violent crime in America. The East St. Louis, Illinois neighborhood from Caseyville Avenue to City Center is the ranked # 1 as the most violent crime neighborhood in America where 100.2 violent crimes per 1,000 people occurs. My wife and I grew up in East St. Louis. I lived near the intersection of Caseyville Avenue and Kingshighway (Washington Park) and my wife at 43rd & Caseyville Avenue. We walked to neighborhood theaters in 1953. We rode bikes all over East St. Louis in the 1940's and '50's. Young boys in little league baseball uniforms were always seen hitchhiking to the Central City Jones Park. Walking through downtown East St. Louis at night and across the Eads Bridge over the Mighty Mississippi River into St. Louis gave young eyes a magnificent view of city lights flickering on the river's muddy waters. On sweltering summer nights with no benefit of air conditioning, we slept by unlocked screen doors with no fear but only hope for a cool breeze.
As we aged, we became aware that there were some unsavory people in our midst but good was always triumphant. Fears, anger and divisiveness was not constantly driven by 24/7 television reporting. We knew that policemen had guns but the thought of a neighbor having a military-type assault gun was unimaginable. We lived in a tranquil environment. We felt strong family love and a truly caring neighborly love.

Our American neighborhoods no longer hear the evening voices of children calling out: "1-2-3 on Terry, hiding behind Ms. LeRoy's garage;" no longer the admonishment from a young girl's voice "You forgot to say Mother May I." No longer do adolescent boys hang out under street lights singing the pop hits and telling exaggerated stories. No, those young voices are driven inside behind walls for fear of the unsafe neighborhood...and with that the tranquil joyous youthful spirit is diminished in the "Land of of Free and the Home of the Brave."

Yes, when I look into the beautiful faces of 15 grandchildren and two great grandchildren, I feel guilty...with all the love I have for them I cannot give them yesterday's peace and tranquility.