Let Me Count The Ways

People ask, "Do you feel '80?' I say, "Absolutely, let me count the ways!"

 1). My health insurance company affords free health club membership but I seldom go.
 2). If I don't write it on my calendar, I'll miss the appointment.
 3). My kids are beginning to look middle-aged.
 4). The gleam in my eyes is likely the sun reflecting off my cataract lens implant.
 5). My first sections to read in the newspaper is the obituary and 50-Years Ago.
 6). I've had 8-hours sleep by 4AM.
 7). My medicine cabinet is no longer big enough.
 8). People are constantly telling me, "You sure don't look that old."
 9). Flossing teeth does not take as much time as it once did.
10). Most telemarketing telephone calls are about 'pain' management, assisted living and internment plans.
11). All my medical doctors' telephone numbers are on my cell phone contact list.
12). All my fingers seemed to be turning in different directions and it's difficult opening twist lids.
13). I am so appreciative of the automobile dashboard screen showing rear vision.
14). Television re-runs work for me because I don't recall 'seeing' the first showing.
15). I've changed my attitude about being seated near the restroom at a restaurant.