Know Thyself

I have known for many years that I have 'slightly-above-average intelligence;' this comment should not be viewed as either complaint or boast...it is what it is and I am happy. Let me explain the 'happy part.' I am capable of pondering to the extent that I usually arrive at  reasonable understandings.

I understand one most significant aspect of my personal journey and life. I must stay engaged and busy. I have strong emotional feelings. I am sentimental about my past. I am a romantic about life (in general) and relationships specifically. These personal-profile snippets shared, I can assure you that I have a tendency to become melancholy if I have too much time to ponder; you all know about the 'blues.'

In my lifetime, I telephoned many love ones. In their retirement years, I would telephone my father and mother at least three times a week. After my father's death some 19 years ago, I began telephoning my mother every day; sometimes I'd telephone her twice a day just to hear her voice...especially her laugh. I would often telephone a couple of Aunts and Uncles along a brother brother. Of course, I stay 'in-touch' via the phone with my three children and some of the older grandchildren but I realize that these young folks have very hectic schedules and a busy slate to address; I withhold telephoning them as much as I would like.

Within the past three years the number of family deaths escalated as did the number of deaths of close friends and former basketball  players that I once coached.  I look around and notice 'chunks' of my life are gone. People who truly knew me and could recite historical facts about me are silenced; it leaves a longing if not hurting void in daily thoughts. I find myself 'reaching' for my telephone with intentions to 'call' mother, my Aunt Verla or Aunt Kate. I wish to telephone a friend to share a story or joke and that friend is gone.

I love my backyard swing but I find it can be the 'devil's tool' should I stay too long. Thank God for that 'slightly' above average intelligence that motivates me to get up off the swing and get busy. I must plan something and I need to look for avenues to serve others or I risk becoming lost in self-pity.