My Way

If I could 'make-the-rules,' I would initiate the following this very day:

*  All counter tops would be 4-inches higher
*  Attendants would pump gas, wash windshields and bring change to my automobile
*  There would be no 3-point arc in middle school basketball
*  Baseball managers would be permitted use of only three pitchers per game
*  College athletes would have to meet the same entrance requirements as non-athletes
*  Grass would stop growing at 3-inches and snow would melt immediately when falling on pavement
*  Vegetables would be bad for you while chocolate would reduce high blood pressure and cholesterol
*  Dance recitals would be constitutionally limited to one-hour
*  All parades would lead with horses followed by marching bands...more entertaining
*  No music could be recorded if lyrics cannot be understood
*  Trucks could only use the interstate between 10P.M. and 6A.M.
*  All electronic devise and the television would be non-serviceable between 6P.M. and 10P.M. in honor of the 'family'
*  Black male singers would not be allowed to grab their crotch while singing
*  White male singers would not be allowed to imitate Black male singers
*  Fox News could not use the term 'Fair & Balanced'
*  First time sex offenders would be given life in prison
*  Government offices would NOT be permitted to have automated answering machines
*  All elected officials would have term limits
*  Elected officials convicted of a felony would forfeit retirement benefits
*  All lanes at Walmart would be 'open'
*  Theater movies would start at advertised times...no coming attractions or commercials