Roles of Parents & Children Reversed?

A friend and fellow educator/coach recently posed a legitimate concern regarding changes he has noted in the parent-child relationship. His perception suggests that forty-to-fifty years ago parents were the central focus of the family-unit while today that focus in primarily on the children. I believe his observation is valid.

If this IS true, WHY?

I don't think there is one simple answer to explain this particular family dynamic. Let me begin with a few personal facts from yesterday: I never doubted for a moment that my parents loved me and would protect me. There was explicit clarity that my parents loved one another more than they loved anyone else, including their children. It was obvious that my parents were on the same page regarding expectations of their children's behavior. It was impossible to play one parent against another; they saw through phony tears and bellyaching. My parents were quick to assume the role of 'defense attorneys;' not for their children but for school teachers, coaches and other adults representing authority. They did not 'give' me money but made it possible for me to earn a few dollars from specific chores and jobs. My parents had no concept of the term 'time out' but embraced

My parents read one book frequently: The Bible. Obviously, they came across Proverbs 13:24 and  thus embraced the modern-day proverb, "spare the rod, spoil the child," which meant if a child goes  undisciplined that child will grow up expecting to have his own way on all matters...not a good game plan for success and happiness. My parents did not need Dr. Benjamin Spock's poppycock book about concern for the child's 'feelings.' My parents wanted their boys to be strong and self-sufficient  claiming personal accountability instead of leaning on crutches of excuses. Simply stated: In the homes of my youth, the children wanted to 'please parents.' In many of today's homes the parents want to 'please' their kids. As my Dad would say, "That's bassackwards!"

Add to the aforementioned parenting changes the reality of America's near 50% divorce rate today compared to 14% in 1940 negatively impacted the 'family-unit' as does the projected 17% of single wage earning families pressed against the 2030 projection of only 17% of mothers in the home.

Finally, I have heard the noble trumpeted sound of parents through the decades who cry out, "I want my child to gave a better life than did I." Unfortunately, those parents too often blur the line between 'better and easier.'

One of my biggest challenges as a high school basketball coach was changing the focus of 'self' to 'team.' That said, a few kids would have been better players had they ate dinner at my home.
(Touch)
Thanks Mom & Dad