Courtship, Love & Marriage

The late great singer, Ray Charles said in song, "Somebody Ought to Write a Book About It." The 'it' in Ray's reference was 'love and relationships.' Well, a lot of somebodies have written books about love, courtship and marriage. Just check out the subject matter at your local library or google the subjects.

During my Illinois State University undergraduate years, I did much reading about the subjects of love and marriage as I pursued a sociology degree. I especially found intriguing the investigation of courtship and the family. The courtship behavior certainly has evolved over time but most often the objective within the dynamic still seems to be persuading another to make a lifetime romantic commitment usually culminating in marriage. The Family dynamic examines the behavior patterns of parents and off springs living together but also includes extended family members' impact.

Consider the following random musings:

  1. Historically, males were perceived as the relationship pursuant. Not necessarily so in 2019.
  2. Premarital cohabitation once a taboo, now a prevalent courtship arrangement.
  3. A young unwed pregnant girl once rarely seen in public is no longer the social norm.
  4. Median age to marry in 2018: Men-29 & Women-27. This writer married in 1960: the median
      age for men-22.8 & women-20.3.
  5. Women in the work place has changed drastically over the decades: 30% in 1950-to-47% in 2000.
  6.  Whether driven by need or career goals, both parents are often working and this changes the
        parenting dynamics greatly. Children in this 21st century are slotted into educational institutions
        at a much earlier age than ever in America's history. Womb-to-Room is the new normal.

Consider this writer's beliefs for a successful marriage:

  1. Be careful marrying the 'only' child in a family.
  2. Likewise be wary of marry anybody who is at war with their own family.
  3. Before marrying resolve the following, which WILL BECOME issues: how shall we handle
      monies? Baking accounts, paying bills; family religious matters & in-law engagements, holidays,
      etc. Note: a mortgage payment should not exceed one week's income.
  4. A young man who holds a steady job, has $10,000.00 in savings and knows 10-nursery rhymes
      is ready to marry.
  5. Before marrying decide parenting discipline approach. Commit to being a blueprint for children
      not their friend. Prepare to be a parent caretaker NOT a crutch provider!
  6. Young married couples should not handicap their relationship by expecting to have the same
       material 'things as do their parents. Remember that your joy will be in the journey not a finish.
(Touch)
Love & Marriage