Leaders Should be Emotionally Normal

During a second cup of coffee yesterday morning, I was listening to television news-personalities discuss the wisdom of 'leaders' who may show or express emotional tears. Questions debated were: Does it show a sign of weakness? Is it wise for leaders to have those emotional moments publicly? ? How can the public be certain the tears are authentic? 

My first reaction to these queries is whoa-be-folks; hold back the judgment on others regardless of the leadership status and examine your own emotional expressions; what is normality?

I embrace two quotes; one a Greek saying and the other from Shakespeare's 'Hamlet.' First, the ancient Greek maxim or saying, 'know thyself" is a warning to pay little to no attention to the opinion of others; even the multitudes. Secondly, in Shakespeare's Hamlet, the phrase, "be true to thine own self" is spoken. The widely held interpretation of this phrase is that one serves oneself best if one does not deceive or lie to self.

Let's turn the conversation back to the topic of leaders being honest with 'self' and thus having the ability to be honest with those they lead. My personal leadership roles began in earnest as a 'father.' There were times when I felt responsible to show 'intentional' leadership so my children had a blueprint in 'choice-behavior response to outside circumstance. Those were the times when my children were going to observe their father and how he responded or reacted to events that were beyond their father's control. On those occasions, I sometimes withheld the emotions of anger and frustration; remember, I am the 'intentional leader at that moment.

However, there were many times when I showed openly my loving affection for my children's mother with a playful kiss or hug. There were family deaths or a truly sad circumstance, which brought unabashed tears to my eyes; those tears were sincere expressed feelings not hidden from my children's view. Such moments are uncensored because it is the paramount fabric of life, which defines the human relationship experience.

I would safely guess that I have delivered more than twenty eulogies.  I did not break down emotionally at any of those remembrance speeches, however there were a few moments when my voice quivered, lost strength and I had to pause in an attempt to to gain composure. This is normal and shows a depth of caring love. These are feelings held by all people regardless of their station in life or charge. No one wishes to have their leaders, clergy and doctors lose emotional control but it is okay to show a tearful side.

Let me sum it up this way: If one watched the faces of the parents engulfed in the Newtown, Connecticut mass gun slaying of six year old first graders and one did not cry, I don't want that individual to be my leader or my neighbor for we hold no kindred spirit.