Forever Somewhere

While backyard swinging yesterday evening, I recalled two Jewish guys who lived in our neighborhood back in East St. Louis (1947). Myron and Hinny were the best of friends. Most often when you saw one working his garden, you'd see the other giving a helping hand. Myron, however, began suspecting that Hinny was having an affair with his wife. One afternoon, Myron came home early from work and sure enough, Hinny was in the upstairs bedroom with Myron's wife. "Quick, Myron's wife said to Hinny, hide under the bed."
When Myron entered the bedroom, he began looking everywhere for that scoundrel, Hinny. He opened closet doors, looked behind curtains and when he looked under the bed, he spotted his long time friend and said, "Hinny, what are you doing under there?" Hinny spoke softly saying, "Myron, my good friend, every body's gotta be somewhere?"

Hinny was correct; every body must be somewhere, forever! That said, my wife and I made our final plans to be in that somewhere after we have no choice to 'go' anywhere. We always put off talking about this eventuality because our kids perceive us as 'doom & gloom' posturing. Hey, we are moving towards the respective ages of 75 and 73, it's about time that we complete internment plans. The thought process to arrive at a decision was not a slam-dunk. My wife and I were both raised in East St. Louis, Illinois and it is fact that we cannot 'go home' while living so why the hell would we elect to go home dead.

We lived various lengths of time in the following Illinois communities where I coached high school sports: Assumption, Mason City, Washington, Edwardsville, Jacksonville and Decatur. We have children living in Granite City, South Barrington and Jacksonville. We decided that since we have no plans to live with any of our kids in old age, we feel it not necessary to burden any  kid with talking plastic flowers to our graves on Memorial Day. We have thus chosen Sunset Hills Mausoleum (the outdoor one; I like the idea of fresh air) in Edwardsville, Illinois.

My brother Tom and his wife Vicky also have final resting plans at this site. They will be in the opposite-end second row corner drawer from Mel and Gerry. I selected the second row because I wish to be high enough that any of my leftover Edwardsville basketball fan adversaries are challenged to urinate that high.