One of the few things that I have in common with my children is our profound love and respect for my father; their grandfather. That agreed and said all parties should recognize an incongruity in their perspectives. <My father did not assume the same discipline-demeanor and behavior expectation attitudes as a grandparent that he did as a parent.; my children thus knew a different person than did I>
I am sure that my children become upset with me, talk with one another about my unacceptable parenting-opinions and dismiss me as some sort of out-of-touch 'kook' or nut-case when it comes to parenting ideas and expectation of my grandkids. Let me give an example or two. I believe my grandchildren are generally disrespectful to their parents and have far too much to say. I think my grandchildren have too much family-matters information too soon and they are unable to process the information with less than adult size brains; consequently, these kids weigh-in with unwarranted and ill-thought-out verbal opinions. My father use to tell me often, when making sure that I understood my opinion-giving parameters; "Hey boy, yours is NOT to reason why, yours is but to do or die!" Yes sir, that was my kids' Papaw...what a guy, hey? Obviously, my dad never read a parenting book!
My adult parenting-children listen to my grandkids' opinions about where they should vacation as if they had some monetary stake in the matter. I swear, I never went on a family vacation as a kid with my parents and neither did my wife when she was a child at home. I do remember going frequently to the drive-in movies on Friday nights with mom and dad and it was a blast. I also recall a lot of backyard games and neighborhood picnics; those also were great fun. As parents ourselves, we took the kids to the Lake of the Ozarks a few times but nothing elaborate; I did not have the time off work or the extra monies to engage those niceties. I hear my grandchildren weighing in with their parents regarding family-vacation-experience expectation...gotta by shitting me! My father often told me and my brothers that we should "Be seen and not heard." Now there some crap that flies in the face of modern-day child psychologists! Don't dismiss my parents-style and parenting methods, these were the folks considered to be from the greatest generation; they kicked ass in WWII and then built a strong industrial country; I remember the celebrations along the way.
I suspect that some of the grandkids have no concept of lawn-mower usage or lawn raking. All my grandkids have many of the latest electronic gadgets and they each appear to wear the latest clothing styles. Many have automobile when they get their driver's license; my wife bought my first car when we got married my senior year of college. She had been working saving money while I was attending school. As a teenager, I waxed my mothers hardwood floors when I was sixteen just to get a five dollar bill for a date night; I thought she was an angel making me such a good deal.
I do recall my parents having conversations about making a 'better' life for me and my two younger brothers; thank God they did not confuse better with easier and softer.
For the most part, I followed the 'parenting-blueprint' shown by my parents. I am thinking perhaps my children have deep scars and thus felt it necessary to change the parenting approach...and here I thought I did such a wonderful job. Oh well, 'checkmate!!'
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