This morning, I shall drive from this Collinsville Drury Inn to the historic Old Cathedral on the St. Louis banks of the Mississippi River where I will speak words of remembrance of my beloved brother-in law, Jerry Coyle. I have given more eulogies than I dare wish to recall. There were only two that I wanted to give, which were my father and mother's. Those were simply musts. Others caused me great feelings of inadequacy.
When you are called upon to serve as a eulogist, you must keep in mind a few critical realities. First, there are likely those in attendance who knows the deceased one better than you. It is too easy and wrong to make someone larger in death than in life...be cognizant of that pitfall. Well ahead of time organize your thoughts and assemble your words. Share the reading with a spouse or trusted friend. When the draft is finalized go off into a secluded place and read that eulogy over and over until you void yourself of raw emotional tears...this is a must!
Try to avoid reading the eulogy but refer to your papers and paraphrase those sentences...stay on script. Understand that your audience will likely remember how you began and ended that eulogy. On that note there is no debating the fact that most of us entered this world as a baby kicking and crying while those around us were smiling and celebrating. Likewise most of us leave this journey in a personal midnight hour while others around us are crying in sadness. It is not how we enter or leave, which defines our life but how we 'shared our journey' with others' that really counts.
Finally, reassure family with these parting words, "Precious memories will sustain those left behind." Never stop sharing those memories...for when our name is no longer uttered, we die a final time.
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