Admired the Man

In a recent reflective self-examination, I concluded that I have admired others but never envied anybody. As a kid growing up in blue-collar, industrial East St. Louis, I noticed some kids had more 'stuff' than me while some 'kids' had less than me. That's as far as it went...I 'noticed,' however it didn't move my social or personal needle!

I don't think this attitude happened by chance. My parents loved me therefore, I felt secure. My parents didn't worship me therefore, I did not feel privileged. My parents, especially my father, constantly pushed me to not be content always patting myself on the back. I recall him saying, "You do know others have done what you have done and some have done more." Living in that kind of environment leaves little time to embrace envy..."take care of your business, boy."

Admiration for others was a different matter. I found it good and well serving as a blueprint to 'admire' characteristics of others.  I recall one particular individual, outside the family for whom I held great admiration. His name was Ray Sonnenberg. Sonnenberg was a outstanding basketball player at Collinsville high school in the late 1940's and later played college basketball for Saint Louis University. He also became a most reputable NFL official and before that he was the East St. Louis YMCA Director in the mid 1950's. It was in that 'Y' directorship role that I met Ray Sonnenberg.

It was the summer before my senior year at East St. Louis high school when Ray Sonnenberg hired . me and another East Side student-athlete, Steve Blackwell. Steve and I were from different parts of  the city but we had become tight friends through our teammate associations in baseball and basketball. As junior day-camp counselors, Steve and I worked closely under the supervision of Ray and another adult counselor helping young kids in a variety of activities.

Ray Sonnenberg's leadership style was distinct. He was most personable but spoke directly and poignantly regarding rules and expectations. Each of the some fifty kids in the YMCA Day Camp seemed to be special to Ray. That was the first time I noticed Ray's ability to engage every kid in a one on one conversation and ask meaningful questions, which caused the youngster to feel comfortable and safe enough to share. Many years later, I would see Ray at events and his demeanor had not changed. He would stop what he was doing and while looking directly into my face he would not only ask about my life's journey but inquire about my different family members. Ray Sonnenberg's focus was always on others and he wanted the particulars. He was genuine. I have always 'admired' that caring characteristic.
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Thanks for being a friend