Nana's Astute Observation and Wise Advice

My wife was thirteen and I fourteen when that 'puppy love' infatuation began. We subsequently dated until age 20 & 21, before marrying. In hindsight, I can honestly report that we both had terrific relationships with 'in-laws.' How vital are these relationships? Critical if true joy and pleasure is to be in married couple's journey.

I once read some sociological study that suggested various factors that helped or hindered a marriage. For example there is seemingly the obvious: Best chance for marital success is when the oldest children of families marry; a much poorer marital risk is youngest marrying youngest....I said, obvious.

One factor, I recall missing from the study findings that which was seized upon by my girlfriend and (later) wife. Let me tell you by paraphrasing my wife's words in a recent granddaughter conversation, with a granddaughter, which I overheard:

Granddaughter: Nana (Gerry) you had a great relationship with Boompa's (Mel) mother, Mamaw.
Nana: I did indeed, I loved her dearly.

Granddaughter: How did that happen?
Nana: When I dated your Boompa, I noticed the wonderful relationship he had with his mother and it impressed me and made me feel good about the boy I was dating. As I was around your Boompa's mother, I come to realize that she nurtured her son with love that came back to her. That parent-child relationship was a sealed deal long before our courtship. I thought why would I be jealous of that relationship? Boompa's mom and dad did for him what My mom and dad did for me. I could never duplicate my mother in-laws love for her son and my love-relationship with their son was something beyond their relationship and abilities. I was a partner with my husband's mother and father to love a man they brought forth from their special love.

Here is my 'take.'
You know, my wife was denied pursuing her education beyond high school due to the sudden death of her father during her senior prep year. That untimely death placed a profound financial burden on her mother and younger brother. My wife could not embrace the nursing career she envisioned but felt that she must enter the work force to make a fractured family's life a little easier. Although she lacked that extended formal education, I have championed her over the years as one of the wisest people I've known. Predicated on the relationship she has with her daughters and granddaughters who constantly seek her opinions and thoughts, I believe that I'm not alone in my perception of her wisdom.