Beware Burglar

The logical reason my wife and I seldom argue is driven by our awareness that we are both extremely bull-headed when our opinions are challenged. This circumstance recently came into play as the subject of purchasing a hand gun was discussed.

My wife and I are both concerned about the plethora of guns on American streets, however we think it might be time to have a firearm in our home for protection. Look, just recently, I read that financially challenged folks are stealing manhole covers and cemetery vases to re-sell for the scrap iron value. I told my wife that it's just a matter of time before the manhole covers are all gone and the dead have nothing more to render at which time these thieves are going to break into our home a steal my wife's teapot collection and my validating trophies.

My wife doesn't like the home-hand gun purchase idea. She pointed out how people are accidently shot with their own guns. However, she relented to my wishes with stipulations: She agreed to the hand gun buy if I agreed to embrace the same home hand gun safety approach used by my brother-in law.

Here's the plan: I buy the hand gun and place the unloaded pistol under my pillow. I store the bullets in the basement. Should an intruder break into our home, my wife will stall him by asking the thief questions while I go to the basement for bullets.

I only agreed to this because I think it will work. I am betting that after listening to the 'rapid-fire' like questions capable of my wife, the intruder will leave of his own accord.