Some things Change / Some things Remain

Standing in a concession line in a Florida high school gymnasium, I overheard one parent ask another, "Are you pleased with your son's basketball Year?" Follow up remarks between the two gents left little doubt that the conversation carried a more sinister subliminal-solicitation: 'Shall we consider promoting a coaching change?'

I spent 14-years participating in sports, 39-years coaching sports and 26-years speaking at sport education conventions and seminars. My sport perspective also includes endless events as a parent and grandparent. None of this suggests that I am an 'expert' but it does bode well suggesting my sport experiences overshadows that of casual sport observers and parents interested in sports during their off springs' participation.

Parenting attitudes and methods are like other cultural mores; they evolve slowly but make no mistake change comes. Once our television industry wrestled with the idea of 'showing' Lucille Ball's pregnant stomach during filming of the 'I Love Lucy Show.' They decided NOT to show the belly. Today, our television industry is pushing the envelope to show the 'making' of babies. Once upon a time, children were bent on pleasing their parents. Today, we note parents on a mission from hell to please their kids.

I get it: All parents want for their child, health, happiness, success and love. Well, here is a news flash for mom and dad: that health you wish for is but by the grace of God or luck (pick your belief). Happiness and success are intertwined and only happens when a person's work is their passion while they find time to serve others less fortunate. That leaves 'love.' A parent can assure their unconditional love but any other love sought requires risks.

You can fire the coach, you can curse those who reject your child and you can throw money at the child's problems...it only guarantees the child's weakness by stifling growth, independence and accountability. Twenty-five years from now, these two fathers that I overheard questioning the coach will likely be sitting in McDonald's enjoying their senior coffee discussing why they will vote against the 'new school' referendum because their kids are out of school.