It's That Time

Happy New Year Greetings! The start of the new year brings attention to 'numbers.' We note the number '1' as it depicts the beginning of a fresh countdown to marking 12 ensuing months, which will allow us to catalog the unfolding events in a specific 'time-period.'

 Most Americans will select a favorite calendar upon which they will make endless notation-reminders of appointments and commemorative events. Consider this, if you will, 2014 looks foreign to this writer whose first calendar read, '1939.'

I always make 10 New Year's resolutions, after all it is part of the annual exercise. Here goes...

1.  I will drop 20 pounds by March 4, 2014
2.  I will not speak the names Hannity and Limbaugh more than once per week.
3.  I will continue to telephone my grandchildren and offer challenges and uncomfortable reminders.
4.  I will spend more time on my backyard swing...pondering.
5.  I will refrain from cursing Cardinals' manager, Mike Matheny...until October
6.  I will praise more and criticize less.
7.  I will embrace the possibility that those who disagree with me are not necessarily wrong or dumb.
8.  I will clean my garage and come to know where everything is located. (Leftover from 2013 resolutions) 
9.  I will have at least one 'date-night' per week with my wife.
10. I will continue to praise God for the 'things' beyond my abilities to procure as I ponder the ultimate question: 'Why has God been  
      so good to me?

I just read these resolutions to my wife and asked her, which resolution will be the most difficult for me. She said, "Number '6,' praising more and criticizing less will be difficult but embracing the possibility that those disagreeing with you is impossible for you." What does she know?!

Time Out, Please!

This 2014 New Year marks my seventy-fourth 'ring-in-the-new' celebration. Actually, I will turn seventy-five February 18...another way to state this reality is: I have witnessed 27,327 sunsets. Between 'Mother Nature' and 'Father Time,' I find myself between a rock and hard place. Mother Nature keeps doing her thing with the grass growing, leaves falling and snow piling and Father Time keeps making it more difficult for this old-boy to keep pace with Mother Nature. I am not complaining but wishing for a slow down.

I will need to get some 'solid-sleep' the next day or two because these old eyes will be required to watch 12 football bowl games within a 36-hour period. I will need to remember all the scoring touchdown passes and digest hundreds of television commercials. My brain and thought process is getting muddy and it is due to all the debris I must filter. I have arrived at that point in life where my yesterdays, todays and tomorrows eat every meal with me. I need to be put into 'time-out.'...oops, that's another story for a later time.

Wishing for More Journey

Yesterday morning, I did what I have done the previous eighteen years on the day after Christmas; I woke up at 6 AM and came downstairs to sit alone in our living room. My reason for this annual exercise is to embrace the morning-after quietness while all other family members remain sleeping. I can mentally study each empty chair where love ones sat a mere 10 hours earlier. They opened gifts, they showed excitement and pleasure in giving. They shared laughter and re-told old stories and shared new adventures in their respective journeys. I delight in this solo recall. It allows me to think more deeply about each adult child and grandchild's unique persona. What blessings!

Slowly other family members found their way from sleeping spots all over our home. Personal belongings were gathered and soon my wife and I bid adieu to twenty-three love ones. We spent the next five hours sweeping, cleaning and restoring order to the empty house, which had been so noisy with joyful celebrations. What glorious memory-making times.

This morning, we shall head to the Metro-East area to watch our son's Granite City basketball team participate in the Collinsville-Schnuck's Holiday Classic.

The time period between Christmas and the New Year will be marked with reflective thoughts laced with the 'hope' for tomorrow and more family-gathering stops perhaps another day after Christmas...perhaps more journey.

I hope your Christmas was the best-ever.

Answers from a Boompa

Our Christmas gathering will produce three married children, their spouses, fifteen grandchildren (add another spouse), one great-grandchild, four dogs but thank your dangling mistletoe there is no partridge in a pear tree. That totals 23 people and four canine...we have enough food; just praying for enough patience.

Usually at such family gatherings, old man 'Boompa' gets a couple of questions fired my way. Therefore, I have made this advance get together reference cheat sheet. I am ready for, "Hey Boompa, "What is the.......blah, blah, blah in your life?"

*Best childhood Christmas present: A second-hand Roadmaster bike @ age 9 and a new baseball glove @ age 11.
*What do you remember most about youthful Christmas'? Smiling faces, wonderful laughter and Mammy's custard, eggnog type drink.
* Which of your family members enjoyed Christmas the most? My Dad and my wife. Funny thing, it is said that a man tends t marry someone like his mother; I married a girl more like my father.

*What has made you laugh the most?  Your Nana.
*Why do you like Yodie, the Toy Poodle more than your kids? Yodie never causes issues except when he tries to hump visiting dogs.
*Funniest movie you ever saw? 'No Time for Sergeants' (Andy Griffith) & 'Step Brothers' (Will Ferrell).
*Best drama movie? 'Affair to Remember,' 'Good Will Hunting' and 'The Godfather.'
*What is the best T.V. comedy show ever? 'Lucy' and 'Big Bang Theory.'
*What is the best science-fiction television program? Sean Hannity on Fox News.
*Greatest poet you enjoy? Chuck Berry...just Google the songs: 'Nadine' and 'Johnny B. Good' for confirmation.
*Best all-around baseball player you ever saw play....Willie Mays (Giants)
*What is the greatest thing about sports? No guarantees but you do have risks and achievement relates to preparation.
*What do you dislike about sport? Athletes who celebrate that which is expected-responsibilities.
*Best advice you ever received: "Don't let your mouth overload your ass!" (my Father) "Remember, Jesus is coming a second-   time." (my Mammy)

* What do you miss this most this Christmas? My Mother's voice.
* Would you like to live your life over and would you change much. "Absolutely and very little."
* What is the best Christmas you ever had? "The year was......2013 and YOU were there!

Cue From a Pup

I must confess that I missed church yesterday. I had difficulty sleeping Saturday night and simply could not get going Sunday morning. I think this old man's mind does too much 'thinking' at times it should be in neutral.

I spent the entire Sunday morning television sermon-searching. I first listened to Dr. Charles Stanley; he has excellent messages and keeps me 'In Touch.' After Stanley, I caught an interview with Pastor Joel Olsteen who ministers to that Texas mega church. Olsteen may deliver the most consistent positive Christian message of our day. Olsteen always makes me feel that more is possible. Finally, I caught up with an African-American minister who was giving a passionate sermon about embracing 'Spiritual Joy.' This sermon caused me to recall my East St. Louis youth. Back in the mid-1950's, I'd often listen to a local Black minister on the radio Sunday evenings. This Rev was once scolding his Church members. It seems there was an on-going regional drought and the Rev told his members that they would be praying and petitioning the Lord to open up the Heavenly waters on this specific Sunday evening. Well, the good pastor took issue with his followers when he said, "I look around the church tonight and I don't see that anybody who brought an umbrella...ye believers of little faith; where is your spiritual Joy and Hope?""

My memory walk was interrupted yesterday morning when the door bell rang. Quickly, as always, Toy Poodle, Yodie' sprang from the couch barking and scampered to the front door. As I walked to open the door, I looked down at the pup and noticed his tail was wagging wildly and he could not contain his emotion to greet this total stranger. I thought...what a wonderful display of 'spiritual joy and anticipation.'

As I prepare to press this post button, I ask readers to imagine a world with the 'trusting' of a child and the Joyous hope of a puppy.

Make Winter Ponderin' Memories

I don't cotton much to winter weather. I prefer sitting on my backyard swing 'ponderin' folks' ways. When I am forced inside, I get Claustrophobia ponderin' and soon I begin talking to people on the television; sometimes I shout at them when they say stupid stuff. This behavior is problematic...my wife is building cause to institutionalize me.

Most of my life, I was on school buses during winter months as a basketball player or basketball coach, going to a game. I would gaze out those bus windows and see folks scurrying about going into malls and restaurants; I'd wonder what that must be like. Since retiring, I found out 'what that feels like' and I'd rather be back on the bus headed to a game.

A few years back, my grandkids were young and this time of year, I'd telephone them and pretend that I was Santa Claus...that gig is long up. I think kids, today, would have a better understanding of the true spirit of Christmas if their parents made them give away something they still cherish to an underprivileged kid before getting any 'new' gifts.

My wife and I became 'puppy-loves' when I was a ninth grader and she in the eighth grade...that Tally's sixty-Christmas'. Most of those Holiday Seasons, we bundled up kids and headed to the Metro-East area to embrace parents, five brothers, two sisters and a bevy of Aunts and Uncles. Yesterday, my wife and I had a luncheon with my brother, his wife and a brother-in law; that's all that remains. It is indeed, a sobering thought but I ponder the wonderful precious memories.

I wish you all a good memory-making Christmas this Holiday Season so that the winter-time of your journey is good ponderin'.

America's 'Throw-Away Kids'

My wife entered the family room yesterday and said, "That Jerry Springer Show, you are watching is a bunch of low-life garbage." I did not disagree with her but stated that I thought it was 'real-life' drama and the personalities remind me of some high school kids I taught in an alternative education program. I will not deny that much of the conversation between the Springer-participants is indeed low-brow but I maintain that most of those folks have baggage of a profound deep-seeded nature, which negatively impacts every aspect of their relationships.

I remember at the beginning of each year that I taught the alternative education classes, I would pose a simple straightforward question and ask each kid to write a one-paragraph answer. The question was: 'If you could go back (in your young life) and change just one thing what would you change?'  Let me assure you that the answers can absolutely break your heart. Samples: 'I wish my step-father had not sexually molested me.'  'I would stop my dad from beating my mother.'  'I would stop my parents from drinking.'  'I would  have told my parents about my brothers drugs before he got caught selling.' ...These are the students who come to school tardy or skip school... These are the kids who get suspended for telling the teacher to go f*#k themselves when scolded for wearing a hat inside the building, as if THAT was a high priority issue in their screwed-up life... These are the kids who never learned to read and consequently never had a chance at school success because they had so damn much crap to deal with in their young-untutored personal lives.

When these students dropped out of school and sought minimal paying jobs, they married or got pregnant and repeated some of the behavior cycle that was an early-childhood blueprint. I watch Stringer thinking that I may see one of my former students. I can guaranteed anyone that those soap-opera folks would each love to 'go back' and change something in their past.

American children will be left behind if Early childhood education is not a top priority with funding and innovative ideas. Of course, our politicians will 'talk-education' when running for office but once elected they will vote to cut school programs while raising farm subsides. It is our bullshit tradition!

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Megyn, Santa Is NOT Real

Megyn Kelly is a female-blond Fox News Anchor personality. Kelly sheds a 'bad light' on females, blond's and certainly news anchor persons! May I elaborate? During a recent news segment, Megyn Kelly was trashing an op-ed article written by an African-American lady, who suggested that she, as a child, was placed in uncomfortable social and school circumstances by the traditional depiction and notion that Santa Claus is 'WHITE.' Kelly inferred that this article was more 'race-baiting' garbage; Kelly then made a strong point to all viewers, especially any kids watching stating, "Santa Claus is 'WHITE' and so is Jesus." I am positive Kelly also believes that the Easter Bunny is 'white' and the tooth fairy' is a wand-waving blond; of course all these folks, in Kelly's mind, are God fearing Republicans who are pro-lifers on the one-hand yet on another matter they strongly support the NRA and favor capital punishment. And just think Jesus taught love, tolerance and service to others.

The sad aspect of this verbal folly by Megyn Kelly is she fails to grasp one itsy-bitsy fact... Santa Claus is a mythical character. Another naked reality seemingly escaping Kelly's grey-matter is the historical documentation that Jesus of Nazareth was a person from the Middle East; a Jew who looked like other Hebrews or perhaps (here's a shocker, Megyn) an Arab. Jesus was not blond and blue eyed...sorry, Megyn.

Furthermore, could we Bible waving Americans please accept the reality that much of the Christmas 'hoopla' has little to do with the birth of Jesus or even the goodness of a real Saint Nicholas but more to do with Saint Capitalism.

Kelly would have a meltdown if she came across this quote: "It is impossible to separate Christmas from its pagan origin." (Catholic Church)

The problem I have with all this mythical nonsense is we encourage a young child to go to sleep so a fat white guy can sneak in the house and leave toys then we turn around and tell the kids not to accept gifts from a stranger in broad daylight. And by the way, how do we know that the tooth fairy is not a pedophile? Furthermore, what adult in their 'right mind' collects discarded teeth?

The Verticle Power of Prayer

I never understood the fuss and arguments regarding 'prayer' in public schools; I conducted prayer for the thirty-nine years in the public school arena. Let me qualify that statement. During those many coaching years, I had a pregame prayer over a thousand times on public school properties in a quasi public-school classroom albeit the gymnasium locker room. I suppose that even my adversaries did not make an issue out of this practice for fear of painting themselves as fanatic-agnostics.

The first five or six years coaching, I asked the players to assemble before 'taking-the-floor' to collective say The Lord's Prayer. This was okay except over time it seemed to be a recitation without much meaning and besides, we Christians can agree on a Savior but we have a difficult time agreeing on how to end The Lord's Prayer. Therefore, I began saying the pregame prayer myself. My intention in this matter was to focus players' attention on the fact that they should be grateful for physical health, opportunities and competition relationships. The prayer was never about winning. In fact, I still detest the athlete who points to the Heavens, as if to thank a deity for his athletic success; I always wondered if he was saying to his God, "Hey thanks for allowing to opponent to fail." I got a feeling God could care less about those self-serving prayers.

I recall one player in the 1970's, who truly found motivation in my prayers. In the fourth quarter of a hotly contested basketball game, this boy called an unexpected time out. As the team gathered at courtside, I asked the lad why he called the time out. He said, "Coach my legs are getting tired and I've noticed that I can jump higher after you pray; so could you say a quick prayer?"

Yes, it was a player at Edwardsville high school.

Always My Brother's Keeper

Several years ago, I was coaching basketball at a high school where I was also teaching physical education. One day while waiting for my next physical education class to dress and assemble in the gym, I sat in the upper bleachers watching the custodian sweep the gym floor. Billy had been a part time janitor but his reputation for 'hitting' the bottle was well documented. Suddenly, Billy dropped the push-mop, jerked the hearing aid from his ear and began yelling into the hearing device as if it was a microphone. I thought to myself, holy crap, Billy has gone over the edge!

I quickly walked down the gym steps to confront the disoriented custodian when he turned away from me and ran to a lower level storage room. Billy locked the door behind him and ignored my pleas to allow me inside. He was yelling back at me , "They're coming to get me, they're coming to get me; the accident was not my fault!" After much coaxing, Billy finally opened the door. He kept repeating to me, "They are going to come and kill me, they think the accident was my fault." He was a pitifully frightened man.

It was obvious that Billy was suffering from delirium tremens (DT"s). I took him around the corner from the gym to a local general physician's office.The good medicine man examined Billy quickly and confirmed that Billy was indeed in the throws of DT's. The doctor suggested that I take him across town to a hospital, which specialized in detox programs. Soon, I am driving a school custodian, whose last name I don't know, to a detox hospital. I recalled my University's; motto; 'Gladly would he learn and gladly teach.' Nowhere did that motto suggest this particular commitment!!

After much haggling, I eventually got Billy processed for admission and was instructed to take him to the third floor for 'intake.' As Billy and I entered the large elevator together, I turned my attention to press the 3rd floor number and turned around only to see Billy running out of the twin-back-doors of the elevator. I chased him down and tackled Billy in a nearby parking lot. Billy was laughing his drunken-ass off. Finally, Billy was placed in the hands of the medical caretakers...I returned to my paying-job's contractual duties.

Several folks told me later that Billy said to them: "I never did like that Coach Roustio."
Lesson: People who need help don't always want your help... help them anyway!

Escape To La La Land

Sometime ago, I heard a preacher fella state that God gives everyone potential talents and a spiritual mission to run life's race.  He went on to say that most folks don't complete the race because they become sidetracked watching others' run 'the race.' It's like my Grandpa E.V. would tell Mammy when she was about to get drawn into a 'gossip-moment,'  E.V. would say, "Now Mary, you need to tend to your own knittin!"  I think we often lose confidence and focus in our own potential when we focus too much on others.

Recently, I read a study that suggests parents have it wrong by telling young children that they are smart when the child does poorly academically and likewise adults do the kid a disservice telling him that he is talented when he falls short of sport successes. Several years ago, parents bought into the idea that 'praise' in and of itself, would somehow 'make it so' and said praise would effect positive outcomes; bull-butter!!! It appears, according to this study, that unwarranted praise causes the brain to shut down effort because the kid thinks he is OKAY going about business as usual. The fact is...if we keep doing what we are doing we WILL most likely get the same results. I personally have been preaching against this self-esteem gobbledygook message (through bogus youth awards) for years!

Mark these words: I will not live to see it, but one day there will be study findings suggesting that fat kids need to be in rigorous daily physical education classes and an occasional parental spanking on the misbehaving child's butt will facilitate early childhood accountability development before the kid goes to the school house.

I Have THIS Idea...Wanna Help?

It was never just about coaching the team. As a coach, I understood that someone was there (in the position) before me and someone will follow. That said, I believe that any coach worth his salt, during his tenure, should program-build to the extent that the one who follows will have bigger shoes to fill; consequently, the youngsters coming to the program become the benefactors. Can I get an AMEN?!

When I took the basketball coaching position at Edwardsville high school, I initiated a sixteen team Christmas Holiday Invitational Tournament. I negotiated to garner basketball crazy Lincoln, Illinois and other strong programs such as East St. Louis, Bloomington and Elk Grove. This effort preceded the now entrenched Collinsville-Schnucks Holiday Classic. Due to a couple of Edwardsville individuals with personal vendettas towards yours truly, the Edwardsville Holiday Tournament was doomed for failure. Specifically, the monies made on the tourney gate was put into the general fund and used for 'other' purchases rather than the enhancement of the tournament; don't thank me, Collinsville. Thank those of those who are searching for hell.

After seven years coaching the Edwardsville 'Tigers,' I opted to leave and take the challenge at Jacksonville high school. The next twenty-one years reaped many benefits for me personally, the basketball program and athletes in West Central Illinois. Let me speak briefly and specifically to the latter. I had the necessary support to initiate and establish the following: (1) a Hall-of-Fame Program at Jacksonville high; (2) a Scholar-Rotary Athlete -of -The -Year Awards Ceremony for 51 high schools in West Central Illinois and (3) a  West Central Illinois All-Star Charity- Benefit Basketball Event. A huge tahnk you to the late, Jerry Symons, Buford Green and Ron Tendick for these realizations.

The beat goes on. Yesterday morning I met with Decatur School District Personnel and Decatur Park District Administrators to explore the joint endeavor of site developments, which will ultimately do two things: (1 ) Celebrate Decatur's rich sports history and (2) serve as an incentive to challenge our Decatur youth today to excel.

It only happens when you wanna and can identify others who wanna, TOO! Oh, it helps if egos are checked at the door.

I Believe

I finished my prayers the other day and after the Amen, I wondered if I would ever hear God's voice; if He would someday actually speak to me as others claim He speaks to them. It would be nice if each morning God told me exactly what I could do that day to help. The Democratic National Party Organization emails me frequently telling what they are doing and suggesting what I can do; they usually want me to send them money.

Numerous Biblical passages give accounts of God speaking to people as He warns or directs them. I wish to hear God's voice as others claim. I recall, in recent years, some preachers who tell of times that God spoke to them. Several years ago, Oral Roberts, an evangelist told his television followers that God spoke to him and told Oral that he must 'raise' a certain amount of money or Oral would die. Since Oral looked a bit sickly, I decided NOT to send him any money; I thought it would be a waste so instead my wife and I sent twenty bucks to Shriner's Hospital for Crippled Children.

When G.W. was President, he said that he talked with God before bombing Iraq. G.W. left the impression that perhaps God 'signed-off'' on the bombing decision but far be it from me who has never 'heard' God's voice to challenge what others claim...I'm not sure I buy that, however.

I will just keep saying my prayers and thank God for His blessings and show of grace. I'll ask Him to keep me alert to His will. My Mammy use to tell me that God speaks to us through the Holy Spirit. If those vote hungry politician begin using the term 'Holy Spirit,' they will scare the dickens out of folks; might get them votes however, from people who think God is voting for that dude.

I must stop now. I just heard a voice from 'above.' The voice is strong and deep, "Come get this laundry basket and let the dog out!"
Although she is not my master, I'd still better do what she asks; it's worked for fifty-three years.

I pray for you readers each day and I know He hears my plea; it's FAITH. Faith needs no voice confirmation.

The Line Keeps Moving

I dislike two things: cod liver oil and goodbyes. Both cause me a gag-reflex. As an adult, I can say 'no' to cod liver oil but I cannot escape the goodbyes. Goodbyes are difficult because they signal control loss and with it comes uncertainty. I remember those years when my wife and I would 'tuck' the children into bed and feel the comfort knowing they were safe and secure. Slowly the children expanded their geographical and social boundaries; feelings of security-comfort dissipated.

I ignored signs of change. I sent my 15-year-old son to his room. He crawled out a window to go play basketball. My middle school daughters fuss with one another over a bra and my wife struggles to resolve the issue as I cope with the thought of pimply-face boys ogling my girls.

Each time we left our child on a college campus it produced a terrible goodbye; I was sure that I had swallowed a knife. Oh, well meaning friends sent those cute cards, which spoke of 'letting go and it will return,' blah, blah, blah; hell bells, who is going to watch my kids?!

There was two goodbyes that held a 'bitter-sweetness.' The first occurred some nineteen years ago when my wife and I kept the vigil at Barnes Jewish Hospital (St. Louis) where my father spent his last moments succumbing to a compromised-weakened heart. Modern medicines and his fighting will had teamed to win that battle for some twenty-one years but this time the odds were simply too great. Just last year, December 21, I sat at my mother's bedside as she let go of her marvelous ninety-three year journey. I kept two vigils and said my goodbyes to the two people who gave me life; a life they watched-over so lovingly.

Keep the line moving.

Older is to Dumber / Peanutbutter is to Jelly

The older I get the less I get or if you please; as I age, I don't comprehend so good. I need folks to 'splain it', as Ricky Ricardo often asked Lucy.

 I notice all hospital personnel wear protective gloves while visitors touch and kiss patients. This don't jive!

I see mothers of teens (today) in Old Navy stores buying clothing that is torn and faded; the same condition of clothing my mother threw away or said would embarrass her in the hospital emergency room. Both generational mothers cannot be right!

I notice the gals working in the mall manicurist store are wearing masks but the customers are NOT. Do the anti-second-hand smoke advocates know this shits going on?

Why can lobbyist 'give' my congressmen Christmas gifts but it is against the law for me to give my mailman a Christmas gift? That's bassackwards!

Do America kids win spelling bees in foreign countries?

I have noticed that most major league baseball pitchers signing multi-million dollar contracts have approximately a 50-50 win-loss mark. The only other profession that pays a living salary for half-the-time-success is my local weatherman.

I cannot understand why parents 'helicopter-hover' over their kids until age sixteen when they buy them a car and age 18 when they let them go off with some drug rehabilitated chaperon on a 'Senior-Trip.'

Why do I pay for cable television when 35% of the programming is advertising?

Who's Your Daddy?

I overheard two women at a restaurant discussing 'the problem' with today's kids. The women agreed that mothers should be 'at home' until their kids are in school. I disagree with their conclusion even though I am a wonderful example of a kid turning out terrific with a stay-at-home Mommy. If you factor in today's economy with the decreased dollar power only a fool would be judgmental towards 'working mothers.' Furthermore, why would anybody conclude that ALL parents are good influences on their children. I have never seen stated qualifications of good parenting. Furthermore, I notice results of more poor parenting than good parenting and you do too!

Actually, if you have NOT noticed, two of the most important jobs in America require no certification process. You do not need to pass any test or undergo any certification process to be a congressman or a parent!!! Hells bells, a high school kid must pass the United States and State Constitution tests before being graduated. If you wish to 'coach' high school sports in most American States, one must take an online course and pass an 'open-book' test. On the other hand, you do not have to do one damn thing to become a parent beyond becoming 'sexually aroused.'

Considering the aforementioned scenarios, I propose that Americans pass legislation requiring all male children to receive a vasectomy at birth instead of  circumcision. Now hold your horses; don't have a hissy-fit! Please consider my logic. We would reduce teen pregnancies. We would reduce the percentage of 'single-parenting.'

When the male reaches the age 25 and can give evidence of having a job, has $20,000.00 saved and knows twelve (12) nursery rhymes, the vasectomy is then reversed. HE is NOW ready to be a father and his wife could likely be a 'stay-at-home mom.

Okay, now your solution???

My Way

If I could 'make-the-rules,' I would initiate the following this very day:

*  All counter tops would be 4-inches higher
*  Attendants would pump gas, wash windshields and bring change to my automobile
*  There would be no 3-point arc in middle school basketball
*  Baseball managers would be permitted use of only three pitchers per game
*  College athletes would have to meet the same entrance requirements as non-athletes
*  Grass would stop growing at 3-inches and snow would melt immediately when falling on pavement
*  Vegetables would be bad for you while chocolate would reduce high blood pressure and cholesterol
*  Dance recitals would be constitutionally limited to one-hour
*  All parades would lead with horses followed by marching bands...more entertaining
*  No music could be recorded if lyrics cannot be understood
*  Trucks could only use the interstate between 10P.M. and 6A.M.
*  All electronic devise and the television would be non-serviceable between 6P.M. and 10P.M. in honor of the 'family'
*  Black male singers would not be allowed to grab their crotch while singing
*  White male singers would not be allowed to imitate Black male singers
*  Fox News could not use the term 'Fair & Balanced'
*  First time sex offenders would be given life in prison
*  Government offices would NOT be permitted to have automated answering machines
*  All elected officials would have term limits
*  Elected officials convicted of a felony would forfeit retirement benefits
*  All lanes at Walmart would be 'open'
*  Theater movies would start at advertised times...no coming attractions or commercials

What's For Dinner?

Okay; quick quiz! What does Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter have in common? Answer: Each holiday yields a seemingly endless variety of 'left-over meals!' Of course, Thanksgiving and Christmas produce similar days' after menu options. My, my, my the things we do with Turkey and Ham scraps. Just yesterday, I mulled over 45 different Turkey leftover recipes; everything from 'Turkey salad'-to-baked Turkey-lasagna cups. The Ham leftovers from all three aforementioned holidays usually ends up on my plate as Ham-salad or Ham & Beans.

I recall as a kid back in East St. Louis, taking egg salad sandwiches to school Monday and Tuesday after Easter. I arrived at my hallway locker on the third floor at East Side high school and placed the two egg-salad sandwiches (wrapped in waxed paper) in my metal locker at 7:30 A.M. and retrieving the delights 4 hours later when I headed for the basement lunch area. The sandwiches were usually lukewarm but washed down easily with milk. Potato chips and Hostess 'Twinkies' removed all lingering warm egg salad taste.

Arriving at age 75, come this February has largely been due to God's Grace and crap shoot luck! Keep in mind: if Benjamin Franklin would have had 'his way,' the National Bird would be the 'Turkey" and we'd likely be eating Eagle leftovers this week.

"Little Things Mean A Lot"

My wife and I recently compared annual physical examination numbers. We are both blessed with relatively good health however, we are both experiencing the same physical change; we are 'shrinking!' That's correct. When we married in 1960, my wife stood five one and a half; she is now a mere 5 foot. If she continues at this rate of 'shrinkage,' when we celebrate our 75th wedding anniversary, we can stick her on top of the cake. As for me, I was once a strapping six foot three inch 'stud.' I am today measuring 6 foot two and that 'stud' reference may be subject to the 'shrinkage' scenario!

My wife has a rather 'Que Sera Sera' attitude about the matter; she said, "Since we are both getting smaller perhaps we can purchase a compact automobile and save on gas mileage." Women DO handle this 'aging' better than we gents.

I must stop here; the wind just knocked over trash cans and I have crap all over the front yard. I liked it better when we had alleys and placed our garbage in the backyard (alley) for pick up. This current day trash/garbage  collection location suggests that our brains have also been shrinking!

Before Now There Was Then

Saturday evening past, I closed out a thirteen year tournament coordinator's role for the Decatur Public School District. This particular run on the heels of a thirty-nine year coaching career and a 14-year youth, high school and college playing career totals 66-years in a gymnasium. The close of this incredible and passionate journey touched my hometown of East St. Louis as it appropriately should.

The East St. Louis high school "Flyers" basketball team was one of eight teams comprising the 44th annual Decatur/Team Soy Capital Turkey Tournament. Springfield Lanphier won the title game decisively over Bolingbrook and the East Side "Flyers" defeated Springfield Southeast to take third place. Antonio Young, the East St. Louis head coach, knows of my East St. Louis background and brought me two (2) East St. Louis baseball caps. One is a basic royal blue and the other is a black cap. Both caps have the word "EAST" embroidered above the STL (Cardinals') logo. The East Side High 'colors' have always been orange and blue; the cap with the blue base is true to that history. I suppose the 'black' cap with the is a tribute to the 'closed' East St. Louis 'Lincoln' high school whose 'colors' were orange and black. Both East St. Louis city schools document a rich academic and athletic history. I am not offended by the 'salute' to the now defunct Lincoln High; I get it. It is tough for those who once walked the hallways and lived for their school not to be able to visit those memory lanes once again; just as it is difficult for this seventy-five year East St. Louisian who is denied a stroll down his hometown landmarks.

Before the Flyers departed Decatur, I spoke to their team members and complimented them on their fine play and the class manner in which they handled themselves while in Decatur. Three East St. Louis players' mothers approached me before leaving the gym and asked if I was from East Side. I told them that I was born and raised in the river city and lived in Washington Park, which one lady excitedly proclaimed, "I live on Adelaide Street in 'The Park.' She could not believe it when I told her my home was one block over from her street on Rosemont. When I described the 'corner' house on Rosemont & Kingshighway, she said, "Oh, my God, the house with that porthole in the front-porch wall; that's the nicest house in Washington Park!" My Dad built that house, himself, in 1950; I lived there until I left for college in 1957 and then for a brief time with my young wife in 1961.

This past Saturday at a high school basketball gymnasium, I was presented a kinda 'full-circle' moment...I count it a 'blessing.'

...but you can't take East St. Louis out of the guy!

The current political atmosphere reassures me that several years ago, I made the correct decision NOT to run. Let me elaborate. It was the late 1970's when I gave a speech to the Collinsville Chamber of Commerce. (At the time, I was coaching Edwardsville high school but living in Collinsville). A few weeks later, a group of Collinsville business men invited me to breakfast and inquired about my interest to 'run' for a political office. They assured me that they could 'muster' the financial support necessary. I told them that I would give it serious thought; I did and I returned a telephone call to the lead Chamber officer and expressed regrets but explained, "I am not your guy."

Those gents were well dressed conservative Republicans and I knew once they came to know this blue-jean wearing liberal it would be the 'oil & water' story. Actually, I was wise never to seek any political office under any political-party's banner. Regardless of college degrees and religious backgrounds, I am a product of Washington Park (East St. Louis) and its unrefined streets. That said, I am certain should a political opponent state a falsehood about me, I would call him out as 'a lying son-of-bitch.' -That reaction usually loses the Christian vote.

There is hope in my truthful acknowledgment. I realize that I have never mastered the ability to pretend, take a punch and turn the other cheek. This is not good. I trust God is not finished with me and hopefully, I will turn out better in quick time!

My Wish For You

To all those reading this blog:

May all who gather at your Thanksgiving table feel the comfort and warmth of family love and be blessed by God's wondrous love.

I Am Forever Grateful

I have been asked many times, "What was the biggest break in your professional career?" The answer is two-part. I was completing my first year in teaching/coaching (spring 1963) at Assumption, Illinois. I was the head baseball coach and assisted in basketball and football. I wished for that head basketball job. The Illinois State University  placement listings indicated that such a job was 'open' in Mason City, Illinois. I applied for the Mason City position and after the interview, I was told by the superintendent that I was the Mason City school boards second choice; really? I guess second is good for something. One year later, I was surprised to 'see' the Mason City position of head basketball, baseball and athletic director was open again. I telephoned that same superintendent and he said, "Mel, tell me you still want the position and I will drive to your Assumption home with the contract. Superintendent, Ralph Helton did bring that contract to Assumption the next day and without question, the next three years did more for anchoring my coaching career than anything else.

I delighted in finding the Mason City athlete proud, dedicated, responsive and respectful. Those kids wanted to please parents, teachers and coaches. The success of my three Mason City basketball teams reinforced my belief that hard work, role acceptance and an intense preparation approach were keys to winning. Mason City players gave a young Mel Roustio the best coaching blueprint possible.

Part two of the answer to the 'biggest break' question would spotlight the Illinois High School Association. The IHSA offered numerous opportunities. I served the IHSA on the boys' basketball advisory board, the athletic directors' advisory board, the Legislative Commission and I was appointed as Illinois' National Liaison for the American Sport Education Program, a coaching certification process. The IHSA also allowed me to serve two years  as television analyst for the large schools' basketball State Finals. The result of my IHSA involvement led to a most lucrative nationwide speaking experience and prompted me to pen a couple of coaching education books.

It is fair to say, Mason City basketball / baseball players and the Illinois High School Associations' leaders prepared me to serve thousands of schools, athletes and parents. I am grateful and humbled in the blessing.

Will The Real Believers Step Forward

On a personal note, I would not suggest abortion to a family member; I believe it is wrong. On a United States Constitutional note, I believe women should have the right to choose.

On a personal note, I think baseball players who cheat using drugs should face a lifetime ban from the game, i.e., Pete Rose for betting on baseball games.  On a United States Constitutional note, I believe baseball club owners and MLB players' unions have the contractual agreement rights to impose incremental banishment of games for violators instead of lifetime bans..

What I have difficulty understanding is the pompous anti-abortion groups that are all for protecting the unborn (fetus) and then oppose food stamp programs, early childhood school programs, head start and free lunch programs. It appears these folks are Christ-like in fighting to protect the unborn life but have less Christ-like feelings for struggling lives.

The baseball players appear to suffer from a similar hypocrisy as the pro-lifers. Those players who get upset with performance enhancing drug users returning to the game will oppose a lifetime ban on those players and/or club owners' collusion not to 'sign' previous PED users.

These groups need to decide what they believe, how deeply they believe it and then get off the fence.

Excuse Me, I Define This Season

These past two months retail stores have been balancing shelf-space between Halloween costumes, Thanksgiving decorations and Christmas gift-ideas. I suspect the 'real' Christmas gift purchasing push begins 'Black Friday,' the day after we Americans overindulge in food and football. It's a good thing that we spend energies and money shopping because we would otherwise sit on our fat asses and count the days until the two really big American celebrations: News Year's Eve and the Super Bowl.

Actually, I refer to this time of year as 'The Season of The Boogieman.' This 'Boogieman' is the illusive, mythical and evil guy who wishes people 'Happy Holidays' instead of Merry Christmas because he is on a secular mission of 'taking' Christ out of Christmas. Some of the Boogeyman's family members spend their time fighting public nativity depictions while others protest against religious Carole's sung in public schools. It's a propaganda season...just watch Bill O'Rielly and Sean Hannity, two of our finest examples of tolerance and Christian teachings. These two fine men speak only the truth and will help all weak thinking folks to 'see the light.'

Sad Events and Fading Trust

I am sure that those of a certain age remember clearly where they where and what they were doing on this day fifty-years ago when the news of President John F. Kennedy's assassination entered their brain. I was a twenty-four year old teacher/coach in Assumption, Illinois. It was shortly after one o'clock when the distinct clicking noise of the school's intercom system came resonating through the gymnasium speakers. The voice of high school principal, R.E. Dagner simply and rather bluntly said, "President Kennedy has been shot.!" WOW! I remember the words too vividly.

Looking back on that horrible tragedy, I would point to 'it' as the beginning of my continuing growing distrust and loss of respect in my government. I will always believe that the 'whole truth and nothing but the truth' regarding JFK's killing was never forthcoming from our government officials. In the 1970's the daily television coverage of the Watergate Hearings was another monumental moment of elected officials misgivings adding to my lack of confidence in our elected government officials.  More recently, we count thousands of dead American soldiers and innocent Iraqi civilians because of government deceit.

President Clinton's infidelity was not the first by an American President, but his bold lying was troubling for a nation's people. Recently, an elected politician was arrested in a drug bust where he was caught by federal agents purchasing cocaine. That same elected official voted a few months back for food-stamp recipients to be 'drug-tested.' talk about hypocrisy; go figure...but first, on THIS day, remember a son, husband, father and President who was murdered on our American soil fifty-years ago.

I am NOT alone in this waning trust of government...yesterday, I went to the Post Office (Mound Road, Decatur) to mail my Teachers' Retirement Insurance coverage (new) election papers. These documents must be post-marked before December 13, 2013. The postal clerk asked, "I assume you wish to send this 'certified mail as hundreds of your fellow teachers are sending this document certified!" My reply, "Yes indeed; let's all cover our ass and protect ourselves from Big Brother!"

Thanks for Asking

Recently, one of the grandkids asked me, "If you could live your life over would you do anything differently?" My answer was, absolutely. However, you could count on one hand and not use all fingers those 'do different things.'

I was  both blessed and 'lucky.' I grew up in the incredible era of the '40's & '50's and I was raised by that infamous 'village' (of people); wonderful parents and a supportive extended family and neighbors. I played my sports with a degree of success, received a free college education playing sport and I pursued a lifelong coaching career. I married my high school sweetheart with whom I enjoy a terrific history, three grown children /spouses, fifteen grandchildren and one great-grandson. If that ain't blessed and lucky then, "grits ain't groceries, eggs ain't poultry and Mona Lisa was a man," said Little Milton.

Thousands of folks were interested enough in what I had to say and purchased my books; many invited me to speak at conventions and audiences across the nation. I had a blast serving the Illinois High School Association television network as an analyst and especially embraced twenty-one years behind the radio microphone.

I would only wish to 'do over' those times when I caused others hurt. I hope for their forgiveness. I do know that a Savior died for those misgivings. I have resolve and contentment knowing that I did answer my 'calling' to serve the least of HIS people.

If there is a 'do over' opportunity, I'm good to go...if no such plan...I am good to GO!

I wish you few 'woulda, shoulda , coulda moments.'

Some Moments Stay Forever

I plan to write them another note this next month because I wish for them to know that I 'still' remember the impact made by their daughter upon my wife and me. Let me explain.

Several years ago, I spoke at Pittsburg, Kansas high school's athletic department. Before addressing the coaching staff and hundreds of athletes and parents, my wife and I walked through the hall ways of the school. We viewed a memorialized display case of a senior girl who was killed in an auto accident returning from her college boyfriend's basketball game. A photo of the willowy blond beauty defies description. Her academic and athletic accomplishments suggested endless potential. My wife and I was deeply touched by the young girl's story and the two million dollar gift from her parents to the school's athletic department to honor their daughter's brief journey...I wrote the parents the following note:

Dr. and Mrs. Mallatt:

I wish not for this letter to be presumptuous in any manner. May I introduce myself? My name is Mel Roustio and I recently presented a program to the Pittsburg high school athletic department and toured the school's facilities, which compares favorably to any in the country. I am fortunate to travel the nation and share with many high schools; the Pittsburg athletic venue is second to none and your financial gift to that school in the name of your daughter, Megan makes it possible. My wife, Gerry and I spent several minutes reading each and every accomplishment and tribute to your daughter. Megan's many achievements as a student-athlete underscores the obvious; she was a remarkable talent. On our four hundred miles return trip to Decatur, Illinois, we spent much time talking about your daughter and the incredible impact of her young and abbreviated life. I must tell you that we both experienced a spiritual feeling.

I do not pretend to know the magnitude of your loss nor could I adequately speak to it. I would feel certain that through the years thousands of Pittsburg high school athletes will be touched by Megan's spirit and the beckoning from her, 'reach for the stars as did I.'

My wife and I thank you for sharing your beautiful daughter with two strangers; we are better because of our 'Megan moment' and your wonderful gift...yes, indeed, I must jot The Mallatt's a note this Christmas.

Score One For the Doctor

A few weeks ago, I had my annual physical examination. I always schedule that physical the first appointment...thus I minimize time spent sitting in the doctor's office. I filled out that lengthy family-medical-history questionnaire; they now have seventeen copies telling whomever reads that thing that I had a tonsillectomy at age five. I did note a new section on the chart. It asked several questions, i.e., 'In the last year has anyone physically harmed me, threatened to harm me, insulted me or talked down to me.' In the space provided, I answered with a question: "Are you shitting me?" Then I realized that many people do abuse or insult love ones...I then answered the question; "I think not and don't anticipate it."

The nurse escorted me to the examination room took blood pressure, temp and asked a few questions. She then told me, "The Doctor will be in shortly."  He never comes in shortly, so I turned off the lights and stretched out on the examination table and closed my eyes. Perhaps seven minutes passed and the door opened and I heard the startled Doc say, "Whoa, it's dark in here." When he turned the lights on, I asked him, "If you had walked in and found me dead on this table would you charge my wife for this office call?" I asked the question as a joke; the good Doctor took it seriously and began explaining how it would be his legal right to charge. I countered saying, "Holy crap Doc, this is NOT a legal question but a moral-compassionate question." He then won the tit-for-tat exchange saying, "I would not charge your wife for an office call if I discovered you dead upon entering the examination room; I like your wife and wish to keep her as a patient."

Rainy-Day Memories Always Make Me Happy

A television commercial ran frequently a week or so back, which made a pitch to purchase a particular 'camera.' The motivating advertisement words suggested that my 'memories' would be made 'better' if I bought this camera. I never before gave much thought to the connection of a camera's quality to enhance memories.

Yesterday morning, I took a cup of coffee to the sun room porch so that I might watch and hear the falling rain. As I starred at the heavenly water drops knock the few remaining leaves to the ground; memories (without a camera) came flooding over my mind.  I recall how at age nine, I would sit on a screened back porch in the home on Hallows and 55th street, East St. Louis and watch that same falling rain. My mother, Lucille was busy preparing supper and I was positioned on the porch-floor with my 'homemade' baseball spinner-game and two teams of baseball trading cards. I was totally immersed in a contest between the Stan Musial led Cardinals and Duke Snider's Brooklyn Dodgers. Somehow the St. Louis Cardinals always won that game; I suppose my head-angle looking at the spinner point is biased.

Other camera-less memories came to mind. I remember at age six playing those pretend 'cowboy' games and never worrying about washing my hands before eating that noon-time bologna sandwich. I cannot recall having many sore-throats or colds back then compared to these days when I am constantly washing hands and using those sanitize lotions.

When my Dad came in from work at Monsanto Chemical Company, we could smell the distinct chemical odors from his work clothing he hung in the utility room. Those smells soon gave way to the wonderful roast, laced with carrots, potatoes and gravy, which Mom placed on the table. I would always save a little gravy so I could 'mop-it-up' with a piece of bread. Interesting how life is an endless series of attempts to make things come out even, like the gravy & bread.

Funny fact...I don't have one camera-photo of those yesterday- moments and yet those days are crystal clear in my memory. I wish you all wonderful rainy-day memories; perhaps you'd rather ask a family member to purchase a Christmas 'camera.'

'Can't Beat City Hall'

 Illinois residence and likely most of the nation is aware that Illinois' State Government is lacking! Seemingly, the one consistent Land of Lincoln government statistic appears to be our propensity to elect Governors who eventually go to prison.

Let me profile a recent paper trial folly, which underscores inefficiency and hypocrisy. Currently, the State Workers and Teachers' retirees are facing a 'must' change choice of Health Insurance coverage. We have three so-called choices. Of course, the options all carry more questions than answers and the comparison ritual is a good imitation of the famous Bud Abbott and Lou Costello comedy routine "Who's On First?"

I will not bore you readers with detailed particulars. However, I do wish to explain one scenario. Some six or so weeks ago, we  teacher retirees received a notification 'mandate' from Central Management Service (Illinois) detailing how we must complete a Dependent Eligibility Verification Audit. This means that I had to send three forms to an out-of-state clearing house agency confirming that my wife of fifty-three years should be covered by my insurance. I had to send a joint-banking account statement, a property tax document and a federal tax transcript. These credentials have to be in the hands of the clearing house before December 6, 2013 or I could forever lose coverage on my wife.

Shortly after this mandate, I received notification from CMS that a 'packet' would soon be mailed to me with all information about the three health insurance companies from which I must select ONE for coverage. I was told I would need to make my choice and post mark mail that choice by December 13, 2013 or I would be dropped from the teacher's insurance program and NEVER be allowed to participate again. The letter also indicated that a schedule of informational meetings would be enclosed in the 'sign-up packet.'

I got that packet two days ago. Three of the scheduled meetings were already held before the packet was mailed...I was just wondering if there is any penalty for Central Management Services; sure appears that they 'missed' a deadline.

Call It AS It Is

The following remarks were shared with my sports' playing grandkids' parents. I gave thought to the possibility that many readers of this blog are likely parents of children who engage sports. Therefore, you are welcome to read the following and subsequently process the content and your place 'within' as YOU view it. ..Que Serra Serra .

Please digest the following American societal youth-sport reality: Our society embraces sports with unbridled passion. Regional and local community fanatics (fans) experience a range of charged emotions predicated on the success or failure of their favorite professional, college, high school and kid's sport teams. These fans are your next door neighbor, mailman, salesperson and tax paying Christians kneeling next to you at Church. Each embrace living the 'good life' part of which is living vicariously through these teams and most certainly living vicariously through their own child's sport play. Some parents will easily find fault with referees, other children and coaches. Many times the parents express their dismay, frustration and anger. Many local school boards across America have members who could give two-hoots-in-Hell about education but have a pissed off vendetta about a perceived mistreatment of an offspring.

The fan is ecstatic in victory as they wave about their #1 sponge-finger and chant aloud. Conversely the fan is depressed in defeat and  inconsolable when their child is not the centerpiece of the team.

I encouraged my children and I would do the same with the reader to understand the misguided fan/parent but ever be wary of his presence.

Simply stated: Society is full of assholes, many of whom attend sporting events more regularly than Church. This does not mean that you will not find assholes in the pews; you do. The big difference is Church assholes are usually more subtle than the sport fan asshole. However, we hold hope in our faith-belief that religion will lead us to a place of repentance and forgiveness.

While God works on this greater problem, do not add to the problem by renting one moment of your mind/thoughts to the assholes.

Adjust & Adapt; Ain't the Same

I once had a little league baseball coach tell me that I needed to make an adjustment to hit the outside pitch to right field. I've made a lot of adjustments over a lifetime and now I find myself making some adaptation in these senior years. Adaptation is a more intriguing word than adjustment. Well. it is to me. We have all seen that three-legged dog make adaptations; also, we've noticed humans adapting with various physical challenges.

My wife told me recently that my posture is getting poorer. I suppose three back surgeries and hip issues cause a subliminal 'gate-adaptation'.' On occasion, my children have asked their mother 'why does Dad's right hand sometimes 'shake?' I asked the doctor on one of my checkups about the 'hand-tremor' and he said, "Don't worry, you are not having a stroke and you do not have any nerve disease; you simply have a senile tremor." Holy crap, I thought, explained that way (senile), I won't look for that malady to improve unless I start getting younger.

I must conscientiously attempt to adjust to my tremor-'shakes' and hope that some adaptation will kick in soon; I am tired of putting soup up-my-nose.

I hesitate to mention the following but the other day, I was standing at the men's urinal at Wal Mart; yep, you guessed it. I happened to look down only to notice that I was missing the 'target' and coming close to the fella's shoe next to me. Thank goodness, he was reading a newspaper on the wall.  My wife tells me that I could avoid this problem if I'd only make the 'adjustment' and sit down on the potty stool. I hesitate to make that adjustment; next thing you know, I'll be 'giving ' up car keys.

I'm going to stop here; it's beginning to rain and I like to walk in the rain. Actually, I like dancing in the rain.

Win a Little; Lose a Little

A few Sundays ago, I was perched in my usual 'back-row' seat in church when I gave notice to the many folks seated in front of me. It was apparent that there was a greater number of 'blue-grey-haired' older gals than 'grey-bald-headed' old boys. I understand that men and women born the same year will realize an approximate 7-year longer life-expectancy for the 'chicks' over the goats; still the disproportionate number of women to men in church was surprising.

Without any scientific data to support my theory, I toss it out to you nonetheless. People from my generation grew up 'thinking' differently than the generations in my rear view mirror. Let me explain. We 1950's fellas opened doors for the ladies and they allowed us to do so. Many of my contemporary couples found their prime work and child raising years with wives at home and men at work.  After we retired and the kids were gone, the gals found a pleasant life in 'Red Hats,' bridge clubs, volunteer work and shopping. Contrary, we gents still have that radar-clock ticking inside, which tells us to get out of bed at 6 A.M. and DO SOME THING. That means clean the garage, tend to the yard or 'paint' some thing; anything! Simply put, the ladies know HOW to kick back and relax whereas we old fella-farts still measure our worth by building something or killing and skinning something. We empty our tanks quicker than the ladies...result?... more old gals in church than old geezers. Of, course there is another element to factor into the church-equation...men tend to be heathens and stay away from church.

I do think this will change with my grandchildren's generation. More and more women MUST work to make family-financial ends meet! Don't get me wrong, I have eight (8) granddaughters; I am all for women's right to work, equal pay etc. However, along with 'rights,' I have also noticed some gals now curse like men, smoke like men, dress and tattoo their bodies like the fellas; they'll likely forget how to enjoy retirement.
     
 Emancipation always carries a price.

Let's Fall In Love

I don't know about those 'fix-me-up' computer dating services but suffice to state, 40 million Americans use these dating services. It would appear to me that what was once 'happen chance' romance has now shifted to a more matter-of-fact yet calculated clinical experience.

These computer probability conclusions leave me cold and baffled. I cannot understand why anyone needs the costly service of statistical crunching-data to find a 'soul-mate.' Personally, I would  doubt some 'outside' emotionless-data to render my interests, attractions and/or desires. I remember once when a computer was fed all kinds of statistical data about boxers Muhammad Ali and Joe Louis, two great heavy weight prize fighters from different eras, to determine who would win if they fought. If that is not totally stupid, I don't know what is!

I have no way of proving the following half-ass theory but I choose to toss it out there nonetheless. My children and grand children's generations have grown up in a visual-entertainment culture that asks 'nothing of the imagination. Our movies and television presentations leave nothing to imagine; we see horrific explosions, gaping gunshot wounds and mostly naked bodies showing much physical gyrations during love making scenes. There seems to be less required of the individual to conjure up possibilities. More and more people wish for instant pills to address maladies, food service 'out' and a click of the 'mouse' to deliver pronto information. Why not a 'click' to bring us our mate for a lifetime; well perhaps at least a few years before we click 'Divorced and Single Dating Service.'

An examination of my courtship offers the unusual by today's standards. I began hanging around Gerry Bischof and 'sitting' with her at the Friday night local theater when she was thirteen and I a mature older boy of 14. We dated for seven years, through the high school scene and married between my junior and senior years at Illinois State University. It is fair to say that we both felt a strong (early) physical attraction to each other however, I kept falling 'in love' with the girl that made me feel special and made me laugh. Fifty-three married years later, I still feel special and the extent to which she causes me to laugh is unbelievable. Our 'history' is our lifeline.
I am convinced that a computer would not necessarily match us and I think how sad the incredible loss.

Pure Hearts are Unfiltered

Our son, Steve has taught some twenty five or so years and has seen various grade-level assignments; most have been at the high school level. This year is the first experience teaching physical education to youngsters K-through-4; he is enjoying the change and having both belly laughs and shocking moments. Shall we agree that this age group is pure, honest, candid and unfiltered.

His students never gave much thought to their PE teacher's name, they feel perfectly happy calling out..."Hey, Jim Teacher!" Well, one young lad just had to have more information. Steve often has his class sing songs during calisthenics. On 'Jim Teacher's August 29th birthday, Steve told the students they were to sing 'Happy Birthday' to him. About the moment the first words rang out, the boy hollered loudly, "Hey, Jim Teacher, you gotta  real name to put in this song?"

A fourth grade girl recently walked up her PE teacher and said matter-of-fact, "Mr. Jim Teacher, this is a lot of crap!" Steve quickly responded, "What is your problem, you shouldn't talk like that?" The little girl said, "Hey, Jim Teacher, I'm getting sick and tired of tying these kids shoes; I liked it better when I didn't know how to tie shoes!" (There is some hidden message in that comment regarding talents and responsibility-expectations).

One first grade boy thought physical education classes outside should offer the opportunity to relieve oneself at a nearby bush, 'like me and my Dad do at home.' "You ain't never whized outside with your Dad, Jim Teacher," asked the boy.

A couple days ago, Steve's PE class was doing exercises and responding to alphabet letters by shouting out a word using the letters. For example: H...happy, Halloween, hurt, etc. The letter 'P' was tossed out for play and the following ensued: Popcorn, Peanuts and suddenly an inappropriate word was shouted out...this 'P' word was not followed by cat / willow or foot; however, the little boy insisted it was a good word because his father uses the word a lot.

As the late entertainer, Art Linkletter said, "Kids say the darndest things!"

Shame On 'Smart' Leaders

My, my this college education is expensive. I have one grandson that has a $42,000.00 annual college cost and three other grandchildren running a close cost race behind. I recall a few years ago when a granddaughter graduated from the U of I with a four-year total cost of $130,000.00.  I remember how stressed she was when applying to the U of I even though, she had a 4.0 GPA and a 31 ACT score. She feared her grades and scores were NOT going to be good enough for admission. I coached several Division I basketball players who scored below 18 on the ACT and had perhaps a 'C-' average; oh, they were required to take a pre-entry 'Bridge Course Program.' I suppose the thinking is, a marginal academic high school student can be 'ready' for higher learning institutions if the all-America player engages a six-weeks summer academic-cram-course.

Each spring hundreds of thousands of high school students fall short of admission to prestigious universities due to grades and/or test scores while thousands of athletes, with sub-par grades and scores, get a fully paid education at those same institutions; all because of athletic skills.  If the university sport team advances deep into post-season playoffs, the university makes millions off gate receipts, conference shares and television revenue monies. The irony of this transparent and irreverent arrangement should be disturbing to any organization and leader with the smallest of moral compasses. It is a bogus scam and swindle of the non-athletic collegian.

Many of these 'super' athletes never finish school but sign lucrative professional contracts. Other athletes fall short of the pro-payday and fail to graduate. The smart (non-athletic student) gets no financial help but pays the bulk of college overhead with their tuition and fees. I can guarantee you that the Duke University professor in research medicine is making much less than some head coaches and the  chairpersons at Kansas University fall short of many coaches monthly check figures.

I understand the constitutional rights of a college athlete 'leaving' school early for that 'big' money deal. I do believe there should be in place the constitutional rights of Jack & Jill (average student) who bears the greater financial burden. I believe that an NCAA rule  should be initiated requiring any athlete who signs a professional contract early, must be responsible for the 'financial-return' of all scholarship monies spent before leaving college. These 'returned' monies could help reduce the tuition cost for the kid who never dances in the end zone or butchers the Kings English in a post-game nationally televised interview.

Perhaps the return of educational money by the early departed student-athlete turned pro could establish a annual raffle drawing for all students facing heavy loan pay backs. We could call this the Professional Intercollegiate Sport Service Education Document. In the future, we would reference the program by the acronym,  'Pissed'.

No Longer a Home

My wife and I made a quick-trip to Glen Carbon/Edwardsville this Sunday past. The trip purpose was two-fold, we attended a Memorial Service for fifty-eight former residence of the Meridian Village senior living home who died this past year;  my mother Lou was one. We arrived well in advance of the Chapel Service, which was scheduled at 2:45 P.M.; the additional time permitted Gerry and I to join my brother, Tom and his wife Vicky for lunch at Bella Milano's. The visit with my brother and his wife is always good.

The memorial service at the senior living facility marked the second time for me entering that building since my mother died. It remains somewhat difficult to return to the place that my mother called 'home' for nine years before her death. Mother  Lou lived in Meridian's 'independent' quarters for the first seven years before declining health necessitated re-location in the 'assisted living' wing. The care was excellent those nine years.

The hallways hold many reminders of the numerous visits with mother. I would state without reservation that for the larger part, my mother was very strong and independent during the nineteen years she was required to live after my father's death. I know that her ninety-three year old body was ready to give up the struggles and painful maladies, which had invaded her. I believe she is at rest and peace and will have that 'life-eternal' of which she often spoke. My mind 'knows' it was time for her departure from this world my heart still yearns to hear her voice and feel the softness of her hands as she would frequently reach out and touch my face upon our goodbyes....'precious memories how they linger, how they ever flood my soul; in the stillness of the midnight precious memories unfold.'

I encourage everyone to reach out and make those connections with family. Those opportunities are NOT endless. Windows can close quickly and unexpectedly. Do all that you may so to never be facing that ugly feeling...woulda-coulda-shoulda.

I Will Not Fight It !

The 'fall back time change' has my sleep cycle messed up. Normally, I'm up at 5:30 A.M. each morning, you guessed, I am now up at 4:30 A.M. My wife yells at me as I leave the bedroom, "Don't be calling the kids or grandchildren for at least three hours!" I thus wonder around emptying de-humidifiers, waste cans, reading newspapers and writing these blogs.

Most of my blog writing is nonsense and the personal notes that I send to my adult children and grandkids is a lot of gobbledygook preaching, warnings and less than subtle messages about 'how' they should live; I suppose you could sum up my persona as not so much the fun-loving father/grandfather but, instead, the 'old pain-in-the-ass' relative you'd like to disown.

What is it about old farts, like me, who believe that they have something profound to impart to love ones and should they fail to do that they believe they have failed? Perhaps the most significant life lesson taught is to accept Christ as Lord and Savior, unless, of course you are Jewish, Muslim or Buddhist.  I have my mother, Lou and maternal grandmother, Mammy to thank for this life's 'anchor.'

I understand that my children and grandchildren will face adversities and I suppose I believe that I need to give them some heads up preview and suggestions for overcoming. My personal firsthand observation about 'overcoming' came through an up close relationship with a father , who with a mere eighth grade education built a multi-million dollar enterprise in St. Louis and Dallas, Texas. Another individual from a distance showed me the true depth of resiliency; picking your 'knocked-down ass' up off the floor and soaring to greater heights. His name was Ron Stein. Stein was an all-state football, baseball and basketball player (1956) from O'Fallon high school (Illinois). Ron received a full athletic scholarship from the University of Illinois. The summer before he was to enter U of I, Stein was stricken with crippling Polio. Ron Stein played 'wheelchair' basketball at the University of Illinois and in 1960 he was a member of the  USA Wheelchair Paraplegics Olympic Championship team. Yep, I've seen some folks overcome.

I also figured out the 'empowerment' factor. You know this one; believing that you CAN. This lesson was taught by many in my life. My family, teachers and coaches all kept pushing me with the same encouraging 'cheer,' you CAN help others, you can make a difference and you owe your talents (whatever they be) to other.

I reflect on themes I continue to preach and it is a simple message: Figure out who you are? (Talents/Passions) and what is your purpose? (Embrace a mission). Pay it all forward.

This Congress May Like The Idea

My fellow Americans, (I always wanted to use that phrase), we can all agree that 'it has been a great run.' Starting with the Pilgrims, continuing with the westward expansion, the industrial revolution, space flight and high technology; we did ourselves proud. However, we need to face facts, things are going down the 'turlet.' Let's make a deal; let's sell the country.  Here me out........................................

Many years ago, Arab nations got all pissed off over those Bob Hope & Bing Crosby 'road movies;' Road to Baghdad, etc, which made jokes about 'camel jockeys.' Many of those Arab adults today were the movie-goers back then...they're mad! Many are now terrorists doing that bombing thing...they're mad!  The Mexicans never got over losing that war to America and now the descendants of Santa Ana are sneaking across our borders and screwing up our economy, schools and health care systems. (Note: We will acknowledge that our lawns 'look better' these days). The Chinese are now poisoning our pets with tainted 'beef jerky-treats.' Finally, the Middle Eastern countries never stop 'dicking' with fuel pump prices. It's time to sell. !

Mentally, revisit with me some recent events: Citigroup made a deal that garnered that institution billions of dollars and get relief from the mortgage crisis while many States have sold their highway toll-systems to Arab countries. Come to think of it, when was the last time you did business at a '7-11 Store' and someone greeted you in fluent English?? I rest my case; It's time to sell.

Stop and ask yourself a few simple questions: What do most Americans wish for in their lives? They wish to live away from people who 'look' different from them, have cheap gas, good barbecue sauce and plenty of cold beer. Therefore, we sell out. Sell all financial buildings, and school houses. We are going broke as a nation and our education system is 'leaving' children behind. If we sold our nation to the terrorists what motivation would they have to bomb that which they now own?

We should sell the country and request the same deal we gave the American Native Indians: Give us some free land, throw in some chickens and a milk cow, unlimited supply of Baby Rays Sauce, unlimited gasoline and an endless supply of beer-kegs for tailgate parties  It would be nice to have a television set for Monday Night Football games or Camel Races; whatever becomes the national sport!

Some Cannot Connect Dots

My long time (former) assistant coach, Ken Hickman and his wife Sharon spent Tuesday evening with the Roustios; always a fun visit The Hickman's recently moved to a small community back in Ken's home state of Indiana. My wife and I are delighted to learn of their assimilation into their new surroundings and how quickly they have become involved in community and church. I was especially impressed with a program that they embrace called 'Back-Pack Meals.' It works like this: Two area churches identify seventy-five poverty-stricken families, which have children in kindergarten through third grade. The two churches have volunteers who pack and distribute food placed in back packs for those children to 'take home' on Fridays. God bless those folks in that Christ-like mission.

I would suspect there are a few people in that small community who don't cotton much to that idea because of one reason or another; I know that there is a significant minority population in the town and some people cling to myths and misconceptions. I always find it troubling when people could suggest turning their backs on hungry children because of ethnic origin or negative notions about the parents.
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Jesus Christ was big on 'feeding' the hungry. Christ said that a fella having two tunics (blouse or jacket), should find another person with none and give him one of his; He then added do the same with your FOOD. Jesus also told some wealthy dude that if he wanted to be perfect and get to heaven, the rich guy should sell all his possessions and give to the poor; this Jesus person appears to be bigger on that re-distribution of wealth (attitude) than that 'socialists' guy in the oval office.

Yesterday, I sat in a Doctor's office waiting for my wife. The waiting room television was broadcasting those senate hearings on the (website) sign-up problems with the new health care insurance law. I listened carefully to the line of questioning being tossed at that gal, Kathleen Sebelius, Health & Human Services Secretary. As I listen, I hear a common thread and subliminal message from the senators suggesting the President Obama appointee, Sebelius should resign or perhaps be fired for doing a 'poor' job. Now please, if you failed to connect the previous dots regarding one political party feeling that they are the 'Jesus people' for goodness sake, don't miss the connection here; these politicians holding these Obamacare hearings are that same useless asinine fools who DID NOT do THEIR jobs, which caused our government to shut down for more than two weeks. Talk about unmitigated gall!!   Talk about brass balls!

Oh well, this soon will all pass and we can concentrate for a month and a half on those evil liberals who refuse to say "Merry Christmas" and instead say, 'Happy Holidays.' It's that on going attempt to 'take Christ' out of Christmas; never mind that HE has been taken out of caring for each other.

Be Serious!

Please, someone pinch me and wake me from this stupid dream; we are NOT really having this gobbledygook debate about our American government 'spying' on other (foreign) governments??? I swear, the anti-Obama folks have thrown everything  but the proverbial Iraqi-shoe at President Obama. Have we lost all concept of the 'fairness-sense' and reality? Hell yes, our American government spies on other nations. Hell yes, the American people want our government to spy on other nations. Oh, how's that, you say 'they' don't? Please, don't 'shit yourself,' the American people be all over our government and the President if there was another surprise '9-11' type attack.

Based upon recent events how shall we pursue? I suppose, our country could 'spy' on terrorists training in American to fly commercial jet liners then ignore the data collected and stand by and watch 3,000 Americans die when their work place crumbled into jet fuel ashes. On the other hand, we could lie to our countrymen about spy 'data collected and claim knowledge that some 'evil' country has WMD. We could then decide to show the world our 'shock & awe' power! This approach could certainly present a cowboy strutting moment!

I can relate to the 'spying' operations; I believe it is absolutely the 'way-to-go. I coached over 900 high school basketball games and scouted all the teams we prepared to play. I recall getting ready to leave the house one evening to go scout an upcoming opponent. As I was putting on my jacket, I heard my oldest daughter tell her younger sister, "Daddy is going to 'spy' and get secrets about other teams." She was correct and if her daddy did a good job 'spying,' the family can go on vacation next summer.

Accept this reality:...All nations spy and given the make up of the human species, we SHOULD NOT be so quick to trust but instead be super quick to spy; and we do and they do; get over it!

Shocked; Not Rendered Stupid

This November (2013) marks the 50th Anniversary of the assassination of former President John F. Kennedy. Once again a parade of theorists will come forward and 'pitch' a variety of conspiracy opinions regarding the events of that day and those times. I was age 24, teaching and coaching in Assumption, Illinois. My wife and I (as most Americans) was perplexed and saddened by this horrific and unimaginable tragedy. The election of young Senator Kennedy captured the fancy of a Nation bringing with it an energized youth movement, which suggested glowing promises. John F. Kennedy, the central figure of what would be referenced as 'Camelot,' was the first President that came into our living rooms for nightly visits on America's 1960's, mostly 'black and white' televisions.

 Fifty years later after that terrible day, I believe what I believed back then; Lee Harvey Oswald was not the only individual who 'fired' a gun on Dealey Plaza, (Dallas, Texas) on Friday, November 22, 1963, when JFK was killed. These acts of carnage and the accompanying muddled investigative conclusions shake our moral compass as it erodes our innocence.

Life's journey will offer many deceptive presentations.  Please, don't 'bull crap' me about this Tea Party group; those folks purport the interests of reining in government size and spending and I do not dispute their claim BUT if they are not heavy with large numbers of bigoted racists then, I quote singer, Little Milton, "Grits ain't grocery, eggs ain't poultry and Mona Lisa was a Man!"

Everybody Joins The Club

There are some real monetary advantages to longevity. Shucks, the senior citizen discounts are enough to cause a fella get up before dawn and head to McDonald's for that 'senior coffee' priced @ a mere .65 cents; all subsequent cups are free for the liking. Hell, I walk out of  Big Mac Land on the ultimate caffeine high!

My haircut use to cost $14.00 a few years back; today with the 'senior discount' the cut is down to $12.00. When it was $14.00, I gave the beautician a $1.00 tip bringing my cost to $15 bucks. At this 12 dollar senior rate, I tip her two bucks bringing my 'golden-year' hair-trim to $14.00; I am saving a dollar from those long ago cuts while the beautician is making an extra dollar dealing with 'less' hair; it's a win-win situation!

Many restaurants offer those 'senior discount' sections on their menus. I recall those 14-years that my father operated a Steak House in Collinsville, Illinois. Seniors came out of the woods to take advantage of any price break. Many of those 'old-timers' were obnoxiously  bold and sometimes a giant 'pain-in-the-ass.' The attitude of these time-worn 'blue-haired gals' and pot-bellied old-boys brought to the table was over-the-top. They often argued to substitute items of greater expense in place of the advertised discount and then bitch about the portions while leaving behind a thirty-five cent tip on a $4.95 soup/salad/sandwich combo... after asking for extra rolls and a doggie-bag. Of course, the waitresses were instructed never to challenge the 'seniors' when they were noticed stuffing their purses with condiments or cloth napkins.

I must stop here; Monday is 'seniors' day at the Red Carpet Car Wash and if you get there before nine o'clock, they have free coffee and donuts...last week I brought one of those French donuts home for my wife...I know what you're thinking; hey, I'm one of THEM!

Sport Relationship Dynamics

Part 3...Sport... Character and the Relationship Dynamics in high school Sports...

I believe that sport participation can assist in the development of the individual; character strength is but one way. Moreover, I believe that sport will readily 'Reveal' the participant's character rather than build it!! Let me suggest the ways one can 'see' this revelation: Regarding the coach's character please observe the following: Does the coach complain about officiating? Does the coach encourage players or intimidate them? Is the coach an ambassador for the school and community? Does the coach cooperate with media, parents and community leaders? Let's look at the player's character displays: Does the player accept a team concept/ role as a squad member? Does the player grandstand/showboat? Does the player shy away from competition when the game is 'on the line?" And of course the parents character will be apparent as well. Does the parent boast about his own over other players? Is the parent critical of other players? Does the parent complain about the coach and/school or administration? Does the parent support the athletic booster club for the 'right' reasons?

Pay attention, parents...There is a good argument for equal playing-time opportunities in youth and elementary age sports. Once the child reaches the middle school years, the equal playing-time debate ends. Of course, if the school district is going to mandate that ALL students get the same academic grades then we need to allow equal sport play-time amongst athletes. However, we do not give 'equal' grade-marks because children excel at different 'things' and should be recognized for those achievements. It's a 'goose & gander' thing as we should view excellence in athlete performance.

A word of caution for the parent and coach to share with the student-athlete: Those who play a lot or succeed are NOT more worthy than others who may experience lesser success. Sport does NOT define one's worth! It may be true that those who excel in sport perhaps have greater self-esteem as does the individual who excels academically; but never do these accomplishments make one person's value greater than another.

Let's speak to the middle-school and high school sport Relationship Dynamics. We established the fact that parents 'want' health, happiness, success and love for their kids. The child wishes to please the parents while fitting in with peers as part of a team. The coach wants to have a respected sport-program and a degree of perceived success. Sometimes these various desires are in sync and yet most often there is a discombobulated dependence, which begs for different perspectives and ultimate conflict. All parties deserve the best experience and it can happen if the written guidelines for communication and resolutions is share with all parties as a contract (signed & filed) and approved by the school administration. Children deserve the best from the adults (parents / coaches /educators) who mentor their activities.

Parents: Behold the beauty and wonder of your child's sport moments: Imagine that the girls' high school basketball game's regulation time expires and your daughter is shooting a one & one bonus foul shot as her team trails by one point; do the math and then realize two factors: (1) you (parents) cannot help your child and (2) there will be an mentally stronger, confident and independent young girl coming home that night. She dared to compete.

Passions, Rights & Responsibilities

Part 2.. .

Passions abound in all quarters of sport. The athlete is by nature an intense competitor.; such passion is both expected and desirable. The coach's occupational choice strongly suggests a passion.  I would suggest that every parent passionately wishes for their children four 'things:' (1) Health, (2) happiness, (3) success and (4) love. The reality, however is that no parent can actually deliver these 'joyful-anchors' for a child. By the Grace of God or 'luck,' we have sustaining health. All other desirable wishes (happiness-success-love) must be found and/or achieved by the individual; no parent can give those desires to the child. That said, I have nevertheless witnessed some parents embark on 'missions-for-hell' when they believe that their child has been short-changed or perhaps, in their opinion, not treated fairly by the coach, teacher, friends; you name it...many mommies and daddies are completely blinded by distorted perceptions. They cannot help themselves; they are incapable of objectivity...love misdirected; behavior sad and pathetic.

Over six million teenagers will participate this year in American high school sports' programs and millions more will engage middle school athletics. Some of these youngsters will have good experiences while others will have bad experiences. The kind of experience will be dictated by three major factors: (1) The quality of coaching, (2) insightful parenting and (3) the level of the athlete's commitment to responsibilities. Prior to any school athletic season, the coach should meet with all players and parents. At that meeting all program expectations should be clearly outlined. Athletes, parents and coaches should walk away from this meeting completely understanding 'WHAT' they CAN expect and WHAT IS expected of them! Finally, there should be a clear model described to resolve any 'conflict.' Note: This process is ONLY engaged once per year by any family. Parents have the 'Right' to ask questions and coaches have the obligation to resolve the questions... ONCE.

The following statement should be read to parents and athletes at the beginning of the season:

We can best understand what something IS by establishing what it IS NOT... Sport is not an equal opportunity program...some make the team, some play more than others...some score more than others...and some will be injured playing sport; some parents have one hellava time grasping those sport realities. (Note: The parents will likely NOT remember any thing stated but if it is said in an 'open meeting' and documented then the moral coaching responsibility is met).

The sport dictionary is filled with many cliche's...sport is a microcosm...sport is a mirror or sport builds character. I believe that sport CAN build character but more obvious is how sport reveals character.

Part 3 Tomorrow...How sport reveals character and Understanding the Relationship Dynamics of School Sports.

Come With Eyes Wide Open

First of a three part blog series:

Recently, a Texas high school football team defeated another team 91-0. A parent of a student-athlete on the losing team 'thinks' the winning coach is guilty of 'bullying' and filed a formal complaint. I don't know the details thus I dare not render an opinion; suffice to put the issue at rest when hearing that 'both' the winning coach and losing coach denied the bullying- accusation. The more troubling issue here is the ever escalating 'helicoptering parent' involvement. I wish to examine the 'how.' 'How' did it come to this? A few years ago we read where a mother of a high school cheerleader candidate had a 'hit' (death) contract out on another cheerleader. Recently a father punched his son's coach. Time and again, we hear of physical confrontations between adults at youth league sports games. What the hell is wrong with these people; these folks who are entrusted with the role of parent?

I have been on all sides of this youth-school sport experience. I was once the youth participant. I coached high school sports for thirty-nine years. I was a parent of sport participating children and now a grandparent following sport activities. I umpired high school and collegiate baseball for eleven years. These aforementioned experiences do NOT make me an expert on the issue of athletes/sports and parents but it sure the hell places me in a stronger deciphering role than most!! I stand on a myriad of  experiences as I continue these comments.

I get it!! I understand the euphoric parenting moments: The birth of one's precious child; the first rollover, words, crawling and walking. First school days, first little league team, first dance recital and first dress-up dance with first date...oh my Lord, how many photos have been developed and how many boasting stories told? I get it!! I AM a parent; I AM a grandparent; I too, want for MINE! I GET IT!  That said, I also understand that my kid must grow and become strong and self reliant. Once as a sophomore basketball player at East St. Louis high school, I complained about my coach to my parents. My father , in stern tones, said, "Listen boy, if you don't like the situation with your ball team then do something about and change it so you do like it but don't bring that belly-aching home." Holy shit...imagine that parenting style?!

I understand the nature of the principle parties involved: 'No child ever envisions failure and no mother ever gave birth to failure.'....and then along comes sports!!

There is a pending collision course awaiting many middle school and high school coaches and the sport participating families. There are many myths and misconceptions, which abound in the sports' arena. There is one shared common denominator between athletes, coaches and parents; they all come to sport expecting a fun-filled and positive experience...not always does it happen. I liken it to that, which my orthopedic surgeon said to me on three occasions prior to 'cutting' on my spine: "Mel (with this surgery) there are NO GUARANTEES but there are RISKS." Therein, it is also with sport; no guarantees but risks. The child may make the team, he may be a starter on the team, she may be the leading scorer and then he may mostly sit on the bench and seldom play. She could get injured playing. Most assuredly there will be elation and disappointment; emotional highs and lows. Some 'fanatics' (fans) may be unduly critical of your child and you will hear all praise and criticisms.

 Tomorrow Part 2:  Passions, Rights and Parents on a mission from Hell.